Fun In The Everglades

This is what I call fun.

Stephen

My Friend

My friend, Duke, just left my office. He came in about an hour ago and we sat and chatted about the condition of his sweet mother-in-law.

He is not in a good mood.

I would hate to be the man that pisses him off today.

If you do, run.

Stephen

Bits & Pieces

It's gray with rain and gusty winds here this morning. I love it.

Opened my business bank statement this morning and noticed a charge for 'separate deposit.' Said, 'huh?' I'd never seen such in all my years of business with this bank. Now, it wasn't much, just $1.32, but come on, give me a freaking break. Called 'em. Nice lady explained to me that when I make multiple deposits, or two per month, they levee an extra charge. She went on to further explain I'd made a deposit on the 3rd and 31st of October.

I suppose it's awful difficult for a teller to count two stacks of cash twice in one month...

I so understand Scrooge.

Had a customer walk in yesterday with a friend (or family member) that is visiting from out of state. This friend or family member was sorta light in his loafers....

I'm busy helping my customer as his friend and/or family member begins to amble around in my shop. Mr. Pinky checks out my displays and items of interest I have placed here and there; little keepsakes from my past. Like this:

and this:

Anyway, Mr. Light In His Loafers comes to one of my glass display shelves and stands and begins to stare at an old round of .50 caliber once used in a Ma Deuce. It's vintage WW2.

Mr. Liberal Pink Socks turns to me and (I swear) asks, "Is this a real 'bullet?' Don't you just hate it when a weenie refers to a round of ammunition as a bullet....
I glance up and mumbled, "Yes, it is."

Then, and I swear on all that's Holy, "Isn't that dangerous?"

I look at my customer, give him the 'ole 'what 'da *&*k.'

My customer turns a pale shade of red. I don't blame him. I look over at Mr. Wussie of Year and replied, "Have you looked around, Sport." He proceeds to look around. I then say, "You're surrounded by live ammunition. and besides, the one round in front of you is close to seventy years old."

Him, "Oh."

Sometimes I just can't let opportunities like this slip away, so said, "Yes, it is possible that the round could explode at any moment."

 He backed away and took a seat. I don't really believe he bought it, but I tried.

Shucks...

Stephen

Help Me, New Friend

I'm the kind of man, and blogger, with a big hang-up when it comes to manners. I like to give thanks when required and often when it isn't. I truly appreciate it when someone takes the time and effort to hit my follower button. Having said that, I had a nice person become my 96th follower today. Unfortunately, either due to a blogger mistake (which is likely) your name escapes me.

Please leave a comment so that I can thank and welcome you properly....otherwise I'll feel bad each time I see the number '96.'

And, it'll haunt me forever.

Stephen

Food Stores

Just for the fun of it. I really like this guy. He tries, but bless him, he has a long way to go before he's even close.

Stephen

Absolved

If you'd like to read the 'novel,' Absolved by Mike Vanderboegh that was recently front page news, click here.

I'll not give out the details of the news, you should know by now. I do recommend the story. But please, take it with a grain of salt....

I mean, after all, you're an adult. If you feel the need to take up arms against the government, leave me out of it. I have enough problems as it is...

Stephen

Gold Fever

Only have a couple of minutes so this will be short and sweet. One of my customers, a really nice guy we'll call Bob, owns a coin and stamp business just around the corner from my shop. We've conducted a few deals over the years to both our benefits. We're much alike in that he's very independent and not overly friendly with the government.

Unlike me though, his business can take in many hundreds of thousands of dollars a day, all within a room not much bigger than my office; gold you know....

He walks in yesterday and looks like death warmed over...pale. He'd lost weight. Asked what 'da heck was wrong with him.

Said, "Stephen, all my net worth is tied to the spot price of gold. Every nickel I own is on the line."

Me - blink, blink.

Then, I said, "Sell."

Without a moments hesitation he replied, "Are you crazy, and miss the top of the market."

Hey, what do I know...

Stephen