Home Invasion

Yes, I'm still alive. I've extended my business hours, for obvious reasons. My house has been converted into a tax office for my MIL. It's a long story...and I'm too tired to relate the details. Suffice it to say, my life has been turned inside out.

When sufficient time has passed I'll relate all the gory minutia.

(Next door a very nice house is for sale. Yesterday she mentioned she might walk over and write a check for its purchase. I fainted.)

Stephen 

Snake In My Pants

About 0600 this morning the sound of the shower made me sit my coffee aside and walk back to our bedroom. As I walked inside to say good morning to Sweet Wife I glanced over towards our bed. Its big, high; a child has little problem crawling beneath.

I noticed something odd on the floor next to the bed. I did a double take. A snake. A live snake with its head raised with its tiny red tongue at full flicker.

Sweet Wife opened the bathroom door. I said, "Hey, check it out." Then pointed towards our unusual visitor.

Scream....then, more screams. Then, she levitated, and screamed. In one step and bounce she was on top of the bed. Best flat-footed jump I've seen since high school.

Snakes will do that to a person....

She asked from where the little booger came and how in the heck did it get inside our home. I reminded her we do live on a river and have a fairly large game preserve next door. She didn't buy it. So then I said it probably came from my pants. I tried to explain I'd mowed our yard earlier and it had probably hitch-hiked a ride inside my BDU's, and when I came inside it had dropped out and taken residence under the bed.

She threw a pillow at me.

I laid the poor dead critter on our vanity and snapped a couple of shots as it twisted and turned. I'd smacked it with my handy bamboo back scratcher. Sweet Wife said the back scratcher must now be thrown into the trash....then screamed as she watched the snake twist and turn. I explained this was normal behavior for a recently deceased reptile. Didn't change her course of action.

She said, "Flush it."

I did as requested.

Stephen