Friday, March 14, 2014

City Boy Sports

This dude, "I need to shove off. Can't miss the Gators."

He hops from foot to foot, all bouncy and stuff. Gotta be fifty if he's a day old. Flannel shirt, jeans. Wants to sell me his Ruger Blackhawk in .357; problem is he failed to bring the firearm. Told him I will not offer a price sight unseen. Also reminded him he'd need to give me his price. Didn't like that...'tuff.

I'm dreaming its a three screw. He's not a member of our club. He's a 'ball' fan, which borders on wussy. Sorry if you fall in the same crack but that's just me. Nothing personal so don't drop off the follower list...matter fact I'd like two get with it.

Him, "I just love those boys." See what I mean....ball fans are strange. I give him a look, then, "You know, if firearms were incorporated into all forms of ball sports it would make it an interesting game."

"Ah, get out of here...."

"Really, just think about it. When the sides shift, say when the defense takes the court or field, they arrive on stage packing sidearms. Then, anytime said ball is in the air, the defense is given the chance to shoot the silly piece of rubber or pigskin flat. Just imagine the excitement."

Him, flushed face. Panties in a wad. Said, "Oh my God, that isn't safe."

I'm telling 'ya, wussies, metro-sexual. All of 'em.

(Sorry, I'm in a foul mood.)



  1. The metro-sexuals go to college and we think they're all wussies,
    Cuz they get all the knowledge and we get all the -----

    ahh... I must have been thinking out loud. never mind all that.

    1. Good one, Matt. BTW, your email arrived. You're more than welcome.

  2. If it rolls, floats, flies or shoots,
    Runs on gasoline or gunpowder,
    goes fast, shoots a big bullet,
    and makes lots of noise,
    thus producing torque and recoil,
    it's cool.

    But if it's a ball,
    made out of leather or inflated with air,
    that's hit with a bat, raquet, or club,
    used in a game played on a course, green, or court
    by yuppies, Democrats, or liberals -
    screw it.
    Dennis in Iowa
    Bought the shirt at U.S. Nationals one year

    1. See...that's what I'm takin' about....thanks, my friend.

  3. I hope you are not referring to my ND and NW as they do both: shoot and play baseball.

    1. Now Little Lady Mine, you know good and well I jest of grown city boys. Adults. You've seen them, they wear their sweaters about their shoulders with the arms tied about the chest....

    2. and don't forget the loafers with out