Autumn

Autumn

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Lawyers

I've just spent the last thirty-five minutes at my attorney's office. He's a well paid hack and half of his office lights don't work. He smells of cigarette smoke and appeared to be hung over. I was not pleased.

Unfortunately they're a part of our lives and we do need them. So I ask - why do I feel like I need a good shower.

(The visit wasn't anything serious, just standard everyday life stuff.)

Stephen

28 comments:

  1. Time to get a new lawyer, one that doesn't make you feel slimy. I've met three in my life -and way more slimy ones.

    Actually, one of the ways I measure the quality of my life is the amount of time I have to spend engaging lawyers. The less I need a lawyer, the better my life is.

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    1. You're correct, and I hate to fact it. But it is time for him to go and as soon as he finishes my current task he will be replaced. Thanks, my friend.

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  2. I've only had to pay a lawyer once in my life (so far). I legally adopted my Daughter 24 years ago when she was three. Uncontested as her biological father was dead. Thousands of dollars to see the actual lawyer for 3 minutes max. The rest of the contact (about 10 minutes total) was with a paralegal.

    Worth every penny... but dang, man.

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    1. Trust me, Bubba...the older we get the more they come into our lives. Shame, but there it is. Thanks, my friend.

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  3. I agree with Sixbears. Attorneys have been a part of my professional life, as I have been in regulatory enforcement (building codes, zoning) and then in commercial property management for years. It's a fact that the better the attorney, the more slimy he/she appears to be in everyday life.

    Sympathies, sir.

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    1. What ticks me off about this guy is he's so darn S L O W. Slow, slow, and then slower. He has rental property and I'm certain he'd rather paint and repair than practice his true profession. Thanks, my friend.

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  4. I can only guess after your previous post why you would need a lawyer.

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    1. No yet. I found a nice cypress log in the swamp to hide the bodies....

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  5. Bankers, Politicians, Policemen, Lawyers, and Liars, ALL perversions of the same word.

    Winston

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  6. The only time we hired a lawyer, he wore a purple terry cloth suit, carried a cell phone older than mine, drove an '89 Ford escort, and his office was the extra room in a small hair salon. He did NOT look or act incompetent until we started showing up at court. He then had to have opposing council provide him with papers he accidentally left at his office. We missed out on a $50k settlement. Moral of the story, the appearance of a lawyer is important. It would have been well worth it in our case to fire him and pay his fee before we went to court.

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    1. Reminds me of the lawyer on that show, Breaking Bad....thanks, Tricia.

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  7. So did you cook your lawyer breakfast while flipping the pancakes for the Mother in Law?

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  8. I am out $6k and have not even meet mine yet. Will on Nov. 7th for the very first time.

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    1. Bubba...I'd feel like a king if I could get by so cheaply.

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  9. Phyllis (N/W Jersey)October 17, 2012 at 6:04 PM

    Amazing how dirty and cold you can feel when when have to meet with people like that. Brrrrrrr!
    Maybe it's time to find a new one?

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    1. Hint...grab a few of those little foil wrapped hand wipes and keep them close.

      Thanks, my dear.

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  10. Sounds almost as icky feeling when I worked part time demonstrating conversion vans at a dealership. Within 20 mins someone had already admitted to rolling back odometers.

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    1. Nah, a used care salesman would never think of such...thanks, Hillbilly.

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  11. I have used many lawyers over the years. One for my divorce in my twenties, and she was SO WORTH IT. Then in different places I have used attorneys for closings for various homes and land. We used one for a car accident, and he did an awful job. Later my husband and I used them to sort out our parent's estates after they died. Then, after our children were grown, we adopted a fifth child, and used yet another specialist attorney. There are good attorneys, and there are bad ones, just like physicians. Trust yourself. If they seem slimy, and you feel the need to use alcohol based hand cleaner after their handshake, then he probably is as slimy as you think !

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    1. Jane, I've as yet to met an attorney that didn't come across as slimy...even if he wore a suit from Seville Row. Mine, well, he'd need to tiptoe to kiss a snakes belly. Thanks, my dear.

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  12. Lawyers are all sleaze bags, you just need to make sure your sleaze bag is better than the other persons sleaze bag. For my money, I want the sleaziest, nastiest, low-down scum bag I can find because I want to win. I hope yours is the best, good luck!

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    1. I'm, thank God, not in a fight. It's just a simple matter, but it complicated enough to need a lawyer's attention...

      Thanks, Swamp Dog.

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  13. My brother is in terrible legal jeopardy and his chosen scum bag had to have 5,000 up front on a estimated 25-35,000 job and bills him 350 buck an hour for phone consultation. All the while my brother is living in his truck at a rest area, getting his stuff stolen on a regular basis. You are right, no matter the suit they are all the same.

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    1. Sorry, Dean for this late reply...that is terrible. Your poor brother is up the creek without a paddle, isn't he. Perhaps, somewhere, he might take advantage of legal aid. Thanks, my friend.

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  14. I've met one lawyer that I really like - and I knew him for years as my buddy's scoutmaster, and as a baritone in a pirate singing group, before I ever learned he had 18 years in civil law. In fact, I learned it when I hobbled into the bar on crutches, and he grabbed both my shoulders while shaking me back and forth to punctuate "Tell me you Didn't. Sign. Any. Thing."

    He earned every penny of what he got, but toward the end, he looked at me with a sad-puppy face and said "I really want to take them to court. I could have a lot of fun destroying them in front of the judge! But, it would actually get less money for you, because my cut goes up so much when the case moves to court. If you want more money, you should settle now. If you want revenge more than money, though, I'd be delighted! I... advise you settle for more money."

    This would be the same guy who delights in teaching young boy scouts how to shoot - with tannerite targets - and how to play safely in an Alaskan mountain range. We need more lawyers like him.

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    1. Sorry for the late answer, but yes I agree. He's the kind of lawyer I like and need. Mine's a wimp. As a matter of fact once he's finished with my present request he's fired. Thanks, my lovely friend.

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