Autumn

Autumn

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Bits and Pieces

Our weather is broken into moments of rain washed away by interludes of heat and humidly. Its so old and tiring. I want the cool winds of Autumn that promise crisp mornings with the tang of woodsmoke and bacon.

Now.

*****

Business here at my little shop has been brisk. Not complaining, mind you, this is very good. One day last week I flipped the sign and didn't sit once for twelve hours. This leaves me little time for my pleasures. Just so you know....

Then, nada.  Go figure. Over the years I've had many ask, in their words, "What's your busiest day?" As if I had the ability to read human nature. So, I'd give the a day of the week, any day, as an answer and it would, of course, make me a liar. If I'd have said, Tuesday, they'd walk in the next Tuesday and the place would be as still as a tomb. Now I just say, 'yesterday.'

*****

Many of you will remember I had an accidental glimpse of my Heart a few weeks ago. Then, one or two afterwards.

Nothing since, and believe me, I've tried. I've waited for as long as forty-five minutes, parked away, out of sight and hidden as best as possible. I do not understand. I've neither seen her nor her father's vehicle and do not know how she is taken to school. I suppose it's possible I've been spotted and know for sure if this is the case he's had her transferred. I've since ceased my subterfuge as I'm sure this is only making her little life more complicated and painful.

I haven't spoken of this to my Sweet Wife for the same reasons. 

Our life without our grandchild isn't the same. The holidays approach. At our house Halloween will be dark, lights out. Maybe a turkey breast, if I'm in the mood, at Thanksgiving. Christmas, well for the first time in my memory might pass without a tree. Why bother. Unless, by some miracle of God, He reaches down and makes a great change to the soul of our son and his wife.

I shall break one of my promises here and now....

Just because I miss my Little Bit so very very much....

Papa loves you, Honey.

*****

I need another cup of coffee.

Sorry.

Stephen







39 comments:

  1. None of us can know why things are the way they are; we can only trust that God, in His wisdom, is working things out for the best. Hang in there, Stephen.

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    1. Very true. Thank you, Rev. But I must admit - my patience grows weary.

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  2. Does your son realize just how much Little Bit is going to hate him for what he's doing? When she gets old enough to understand all of this she's going to be a very angry young woman. If there was anything in this world I could do to help resolve this mess, I would do it in a heartbeat! Like Rev. Paul said, hang in there.

    You sir, are among friends.

    Mark

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    1. Navy91, I'm sure he doesn't realize the pain she now lives with on a daily basis. You are correct, one day she will (God forgive me) rebel against him. I pray she doesn't hate him. At his age he just doesn't care. Thank you very much my friend.

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  3. Sorry for your heartache Stephen...Karma will get him one day...Ya know, it is possible that your son and his wife and following your blog to keep tabs on what you are doing..


    Tammy

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    1. Indeed, karma will grab 'em where it hurts. No, they do not read my blog for one simple reason...they know not of its existence. Neither read...for pleasure or knowledge. I choose to keep the knowledge of my blog from them for a very good reason...I wanted to write of Little Bit with freedom. I write this blog for her and only her. If her father knew, well then, he'd want edit oversight. Not gonna happen. Thank you, my dear Tammy.

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  4. Miracles happen each and every day . . . .

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    1. Yes, my friend, they do happen...just wish the miracle bus had a bit of a shove to speed it along its path. Thanks, my friend.

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  5. Karma takes so long to come around that, by the time it does, the villain has no idea why it's happening to him. So I know that gives you NO satisfaction.

    I'm wondering something: My husband's daughter, then son-in-law, were with holding contact with his grandkids. I changed my blog. They found me.

    We moved to Florida, they found his address and sent registered letters wishing him a long and grisly death.

    I changed my blog again.....

    Could they be reading your blog and rejoicing at your misery?

    SOME PEOPLE live only to cause heartache and misery that causes heart attacks. It gives them their only sense of power.

    The grand daughter is now 14 and making secretive contact with us. Soon she will be at the age of revolt, but it's been 14 years coming. Too long to make up for.

    But if he found out you were getting the teensiest bit of pleasure spotting her for a second, he would certainly act upon it. That's why I'm wondering if you have a 'mole' or he has your url. They found mine, why can't he find yours.

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    1. No, Sweetheart, they do not read my blog..trust me, I'd of known a long time ago. They do not know I write this blog. Both of us (wife and myself) were careful for reasons most would understand if they've read my archives. At times I failed to control my anger with how her father conducted himself and his treatment of Little Bit....

      Thanks, my dear.

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  6. I' sorry bro...
    I just do not know what to say.....
    All of us out here are hoping for the best for ya. You are not alone.

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    1. Thanks, my good friend...words at times fail all of us...me especially.

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  7. Don't make yourself crazy. It's tough, I know. Keep well.

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    1. It's far too late, my good friend. Thank you so very much and God bless.

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  8. Be strong, Stephen. As Rev. Paul says, we cannot understand God's plan. We just have to believe in Him, and trust Him.

    I'll say an extra little prayer for you two tonight.....

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    1. Thank you very much, my good friend...prayer is always welcomed. Don't you just wish, on occasion, the Good Lord would whisper his plans to us...kinda give us all a head start on the next round of misery....just once in a while.

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  9. I don't know how I would handle it if I were in your shoes, Stephen. Or maybe I do know, and the thought just scares me so much I don't want to think about it.

    Texas has some pretty strong Grandparents rights written into our Statutes so hopefully the law would work in our favor should anything ever go awry like this for us. God forbid.

    Your Little Bit knows you love her, Stephen. You don't strike me as the kind of person to ever miss an opportunity to make that clear to her. This won't last forever. If all else fails from a legal standpoint, there's only so long the idiots can keep her from seeking you out on her own.

    Waiting sucks. I know, because I'm one of the worlds worst when it comes to patience in situations like this. Hold on and be ready, friend.

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    1. My friend, as you said it scared me at first too...I wanted to hurt people, and I mean hurt. If not for my wife I'd probably have taken residence in a jail cell.

      Florida has zero grandparent rights...nothing. Our hands are tied. Which, is so wrong.

      Yes, she knows we love her very much...the last time I held her and was able to speak to her I made this very clear. I also asked if she knew why she wasn't allowed to see us, and she said, "Because Daddy is mad." She also said she didn't believe them since they (her father and step-mother) were speaking badly about us. She's a very intelligent child. That day was June 4th. Sadly, her father doesn't understand he's punishing her, not us, all because he hates Little Bit's birth mother. So sad. Thank you, my friend.

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  10. Breaks my heart to read that, I can only say stay strong, resolute and persevere. There is a plan, you may not at the time understand why, but there is a plan, and I for one can say no way on God's green earth are you two meant to stay apart, hang in there, many are praying including myself and my family for you and yours.

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    1. Thank you, my dear...I'll hang in there and wait but only because I must..sure wish the Lord would get a move on and finish His work.

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  11. Stephen,
    Hang in there my friend, I know your heart is feeling pain not seeing or hearing from Little Bit.
    I've read the replies above, and have to say, Lotta Joy may have point on family finding and reading your blog.
    Stay strong, in time things will change.

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    1. Sweetheart, they don't even know the name of my blog...even if they knew of its existence. Thanks my dear Sandy.

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  12. Awww ... this makes my heart ache for you.

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    1. Thanks, my dear...sorry, I didn't mean to make people feel sad...I just wanted to get it off my chest for at least a few moments.

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  13. Stephen,
    The air here,today is cool and crisp. The tree's are changing here in town. And in the mountains. The colors, blend into yellows and oranges, and reds. The smell of a fire place, drifts on the breeze. The sound of geese, flying over head, can be heard, before they are seen.

    Close your eyes, for just a bit. And see it in your mind. Things WILL change for the better, my friend. We all ache for you, and sweet wife, and little bit.

    Just know, that we all are here for you all. And with all of the prayers. It will change.

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    1. Bless you, my friend...and thanks for the moment of beauty.

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  14. We are still praying for a successful resolution to this miserable situation you are in. Of course, I know nothing of the situation except what you have written. And from that I deduce there is no way your son and wife will not need to turn to you for help in the future and then the worm will turn.

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    1. Thank you, Bubba. God bless and thanks too for the prayers.

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  15. Stephen, thank you for sharing your pain with us. Wish like hell I could do something to help. I guess all you can do is stay strong and never surrender.

    Steve

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    1. Steve, thank you. This without a doubt has been then an awful year. But, I shall never surrender, God willing.

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  16. She knows how very much you love her. Stay strong.

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    1. Thank you, my dear Brigid...God bless you.

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  17. Stephen, Life is not always as difficult as it is for you at this moment...There are better days ahead. Until then stay strong and never quit! You never know what the next day will bring us brother. Joe.

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  18. Karma is horrible to deny a child their grandparents to me has to be the most cruel hell on earth..Why be that way when one can conduct one's self in a better manner! You pay for what you throw out into this world, I have seen it first hand & it is horrible..but pay one has to do when one is cruel and heartless and cowardly..You must know that many are praying and chanting and hoping for a kind.loving.resolution of this matter, I am and I am a believer in what goes around comes around..Keep up a good front until the matter is resolved or your health will suffer and that is not good at all...Happy Holidays coming up, enjoy them, life is too short to shut oneself away from celebrating any happy day, do it in honor of your sweet grand daughter and who knows the Karma might be coming sooner than later, it could happen..praying for you and wishing you only love & affection and to see your sweet grand baby doll!

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    1. Anon, thank you so very much for the kind and generous comment....bless you.

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  19. Stephen,
    I check back almost daily for news of the grand reunion.
    Prayers,
    Cheryle B.

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  20. Do whatever you have to do to see her! Peace out.

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