Autumn

Autumn

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Pimp

First, please understand I deal with many lower class people in my business. It's just a fact of life. The door to my business, though locked, can't discriminate. Their currency spends too.

Yesterday was busy and when the doorbell rang I barely bothered with a glance and simply reached and hit the release button for the lock. I gave out a quick, good morning, and returned to my work. I should have known. It was The Pimp.

He comes around a few times a year when his cash runs shallow and the girls just can't seem to market their product in a timely fashion. This mini-depression hasn't helped matters either. The Pimp runs a string of girls from the Beaches area of River City to the upper West side slums. He was once in partnership with his late father until that man became more interested in his wares and died of complications from overindulgence of same.

The Pimp likes to sell me handguns. I drive a hard bargain, and he knows it.


The Pimp isn't your typical stereotype. He's a skinny white man, fairly young, not quite six feet with shaggy short hair. He has a foul mouth. I don't like him.

Back to his visit.....unlike other occasions after entry in my shop, on this visit he remained silent. Perhaps it was the other customers, not sure. I gave him a nod and a quick flick of my finger and he quickly jumped and walked over. I said, "What is it today?"

He reaches into his left hand pocket and pulls out a little nickel Raven P-25. Then, "Hey, motherf@*^er, what 'ya give me for this?"

If ever a man needed a shotgun mouthwash, this dude is at the top of my list.


I asked my other customers to excuse me and reached and took The Pimp by the shoulder and showed him the way into my back office. I gently explained to him this is my business and I liked desecration in all things related to private firearms sales, and this was indeed private. There wasn't a doubt in my mind the little pea-shooter was probably acquired through illegal means. At least it still had its serial number. Truthfully, I don't give a damn, but I did have a hooplehead in the shop.

He nodded, as if he understood, and said, "Hey, man, give me a hundred dollars."

I laughed. He wiped his nose, ran his hands through his hair, and then came back with, "Ah, man, come on. It's worth it."

Me, "No it isn't. It isn't worth more than half book price. Even then they're hard to move (I fudged the truth a bit here) and I must make a small profit on it."

He thought about it a second, gave off a funk scented fidget, wiped his nose again, shuffled, then, "What 'ya give me for it?"

I gave him my figure.

Many people in the gun culture look down their collective noses at little handguns like this Raven. For good reason I might add. They weren't the best for quality, many thousands were produced from 1970 until about 1991, and the company ceased production of the P-25 in 1984. Yet, they have value and purpose in certain situations.

The .25 caliber is nothing more than a gut buster. It works, if the handgun functions properly. I'd already checked it out. The magazine (they are always loaded, of course) held five rounds. The trigger worked. The slide moved freely. The finish was nice and bright, and believe it or not, they move quickly. The secret is to purchase them at as low a cost as possible.


Back to The Pimp. "Hey, motherf*&#ker, you be trying to rip me off."

I'm a patient man. Shame of it is my best friend, Duke, had just left the shop. He would have liked The Pimp too. After The Pimp's last exchange I calmly explained to him if he called me that again I'd bust his kneecaps. Like that.

Again, I gave him my figure. Said I didn't have time for his silly games. He held out his hand. I gave him a fraction of his asking price.

Then, "Hey, man, I gotta another one I'll bring tomorrow. It's a forty, man. I'll really work with you on that one, okay."

I said, "Sure. But, be careful when you walk into my shop. I may not be in as good a mood as I am today."

Pimps - they're the same the world over.

Stephen

22 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. It sure is and welcome to my world...he writes for the second time this morning. Thanks, Pretty Girl.

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  2. You have more patients than me my good friend.

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    1. It seems so...I'm sure you'd have busted him one in the chops...thanks, my friend.

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  3. Your picture at the end really cracked me up! I was so caught up in your story that I wasn't expecting it. I've never seen a pimp before, but I have seen girls doing their walk broad daylight.

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    1. Ah, whatin nothin,' thanks, Sweet Lady.

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  4. .25 are reputed to be popular with European assasines. I gather they are used somewhat like an icepick and the .25 being a centerfire is more reliable than a .22.

    I recall a story of a Bulgarian who was killed in the U.S. in a bathroom stall. Seems he was not popular back home. And yes indeed it was done with a .25. That is the only confirming story (since unless they involve poison umbrellas the exact weapon type is not usually mentioned) that I know of.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Russell, interesting bit of history.

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  5. Again, I goofed and deleted most of the comments here...I'm very sorry. It was an accident.

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    1. You big dummy... LoL

      I was saying that the story and last photo made my morning. I giggled for a couple of minutes at that photo.... I'm easily entertained.

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    2. That's me, a big dummy...happy it made your morning. I found the photo on file and laughed and knew I had to stick it in the post...thanks, Matt.

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  6. dear sweet one - i looove it! i would love to have it! too bad you can't mail it to me - i'd pay full asking price!

    your friend,
    kymber

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    1. Ah,sorry, kymber, but sweet one, you live in a country that is very spooked about firearms...besides, you don't shoot mice. Thanks, sweet lady.

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  7. I said something about picturing a 70's pimp walking into your shop and finding that image amusing. Darn that google editor.

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    1. I understand. The Pimp is the kind of guy if you saw him on the sidewalk you'd think, 'junky.' Which, in truth, isn't far from the truth. Thanks, mmasse.

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  8. What a hoot. I also was not expecting the last picture.
    But, I'd say that it looks like a real picture of the man in office. Since he likes screwing over the American people.

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    1. We do agree. Thank you, my friend.

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  9. Yep, that picture is definitely worth a few thousand words!

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    1. It pegged him indeed. Thank you, Craig.

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  10. Hmmm, I think I'd be highly tempted to yank a knot in him. Both of them, lol.

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