Autumn

Autumn

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My Window

To the world gives me a view of the river and the endless sky and the thousands upon thousands of vehicles in an unbroken stream that moves from east to west and beyond. This window is my distraction as they clean and remove the dead tissue.

I count recreational vehicles. During today's session, as the nice man worked, I lost count at fifty one.

He'd look up and say, "Are you okay?"

"Sure." Then relax my grip. The nice man took my hand and said, "I know it hurts."

I asked, "Have you experienced this too?"

"No."

I went back to the view from my window.

Stephen

53 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Hang in there STEPHEN, I'm sure you will have Little Bit to distract you when you get out :)

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    1. And I can't wait. Thanks, my friend.

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  3. Window pain. Ha!

    I hope you keep improving...

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    1. So do I, my friend. So do I. Thanks.

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  4. "Pain reminds us we're alive-Love reminds us why" Focus on breathing during these sessions it will lessen the impact. Loud music also helps too.

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    1. Thanks, mmasse, I'll work on the breathing...loud music, nope, not here.

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  5. I hope you get out there soon. My prayers.

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    1. Me too, my friend. Not end in sight, as of tonight.

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  6. I'd suggest cursing--several studies have demonstrated that it aids with pain tolerance--but I'm afraid you may be too much of a gentleman to lower yourself to that if any of the staff treating you happen to be women.

    If it hurts too much, though, I'm pretty sure they won't mind.

    My prayers for your swift recovery. Pretty sure Little Bit needs a hug for an hour or two.

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    1. Sweet Wife holds my hand, well she did until I darn near crushed it, and she whack me one up side the head if I cussed...I need hugs from Little Bit too, alas, it won't happen for a while. I miss her something awful.

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  7. It was nice of your friends to give us updates on your progress.

    Take care of yourself.

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  8. Glad you are improving. You'll be free before you know it. Just don't rush it.

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    1. Thanks, DFW, then I'll be penned at home for who knows how long.

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  9. I knew when you described your "wound" you were in big trouble.

    Pain: As a much younger man able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and . . . well you get the picture. I got a vasectomy and my doctor was shooting the bull with the assistant (down their on the other side of the sheet) and he forgot to give me the needle in both sides. OK! He just cut into me with his scaple and that hurts like a son of a bitch but I'm tough. Damn he just sliced that little tube in half and the pain went all the way into my abdomen like a bullet. (but I'm one tough mother). Then Holy &@+@$** &%*$ he just used this electric cauterization thingy and my b___ls are jangling like the bells at St Mary's and I feel like I just got tazed. The Doc looks around the sheet at me and says "did you feel that?". I pointed out that he forgot to "numb" that side (which in retrospect might have been a mistake) so he says well I'm done except for a few stitches do you want the shot? No! No I said, shakily, I can take it.

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    1. Damn, man, I'd of slapped me a doctor...that hurts just reading about it. Take care and thank you.

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  10. Praying the infection is fully under control Stephen. I won't give you any advice about pain, as I haven't learned to control it in my own disorder. Just know you are thought of, and prayed for. Do what you need to, to get better. We will still be here. :)

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    1. Thank you, Stephanie, your words bring comfort when little else has lately.

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  11. Though it's no fun being doped to the gills(ironically) too much pain hurts the healing process so don't try to he-man it out, be honest about how much pain you're in.

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    1. I try. Really, I do. But when even the doctors say you'll need meds to endure this procedure, you know it's gonna hurt. Trust me, I let them know how much it hurts. Thanks, my friend.

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  12. All I can say is hang int here buddy. We are sending you healing thoughts.

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  13. Stephen, as an RN I understand just what agony all the debridement sessions cause, and I send my prayers for strength and want you to know that many of your friends here in the blogospere are as near as your next thought.Please ask to be medicated about 30 minutes before they debride your wound. It helps...sometimes a lot!
    We'll be here waiting your next report.
    Kate in Colorado

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    1. Kate, thank you. As a matter of fact they do hit my IV with morphine just about thirty minutes before the session...then hand me a pill. Haven't shed a tear, yet. Ripped this plastic air mattress in half, but didn't shed a tear, yet...

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  14. I've heard "That which does not kill you makes you stronger." I've always wanted to punch that guy! Get well soon!

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    1. Bubba, smack him one for me too when you find the butthole...

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  15. You make it very difficult to complain about getting my required work shots today.

    Glad they are taking care of you.

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  16. Being married to a nurse I can feel your pain. It seems that a stay at the hospital is more harmful than stayinh home. They wake you to give you something to help you sleep and the food God help the soul thaqt has to live on that mess. MRE and potted meat would serve better. I hope you are being well cared for and that you will be back on your feet in no time. I am sure that little one is ready for some one on one time with Paw Paw. If you need anything Stephen I hope you know all you have to do is ask. There are too many friends around . God bless.

    Chef

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    1. Where to start...yes, this food is beyond horrible. It's a joke. Little Bit isn't allowed to see me, yet. I'm quarantined. Thank you very much for the kind words and offer of help. You're a good friend.

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  17. Phyllis (N/W Jersey)January 31, 2012 at 8:18 PM

    Dear Stephen,

    A lot of us read and enjoy your blog every day but never comment. I can't stay quiet any longer.
    With all the prayers being said for you, your sweet wife and darling Little Bit, I am sure you are going to have a speedy recovery as you are truly blessed with haveing so many friends who care. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Please get well soon!

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    1. Phyllis, you're a sweet person. Thank you for speaking up (so to speak)it's nice to have you on board. Your prayers are much appreciated. And, you are more than welcome. I write this journal (blog) for my grandchildren...I hope it endures. God bless you.

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  18. Stephen, I am so glad to hear from you. Been worried, and I still have you and yours on my prayer list. You take care and don't worry bout responding. Just concentrate on getting better.

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    1. Thank you very much, Sweet Lady. Your prayers are so very welcomed. God bless.

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  19. Good to hear from you again, get well soon. Do you remember what I told you? Mayo clinic, brother, Mayo clinic!

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    1. Swamp Dog, thank you. Yes, I remember Mayo. It's just down the street...but, I was dropped here.

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  20. Here's a deal, Stephen, you get better, get home and take Little Bit on the day of her life. Then take the wonderful wife on a fantastic date to say: "Hey, thanks for saving my life." After you do all of that, you shoot me an email (it's on my blog) and get me an address and I will send you something that will definitely lift your spirits. Take care of the womenfolk first, they deserve you back in their life ASAP.

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    1. Done, on both counts. It'll be a while before I'm allowed to hold my Little Bit. Her father is spooked and I believe, as well he should, keeping her a 'fer piece from me...maybe in a couple of weeks. It's killing my soul. Thank you, my good friend.

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  21. Spent 3 months in an ECU (Extended Care Unit) at the VA. Scared the crap out of my Mom that I would die and she's the type of person that takes cut off limbs in stride. I'm sure it went through my mind a few times I can't die my Mom would kill me!
    I found what modern medical care quite unpleasant with those feinds stimulating raw nerves so I think I may have an idea what you are going through. I'm sure the phrase it as you are feeling some discomfort. It's a bit like saying Hiroshima and Nagasaki had a little urban renewal in 1945.
    Stay strong and get strong your in my prayers

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    1. Oh, yes, you do understand. Your example is spot on. Thank you, very much.

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  22. Get well soon, Stephen! Whenever it hurts, just think of Lil' Bit and all the hugs & kisses she'll have for you when you get home.

    Prayers & well wishes for a speedy recovery! Take care & be well soon!

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    1. Thank you my friend. Can't wait to give out those hugs and kisses. Your prayers are very welcome. God bless.

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  23. Sounds like you had a violin spider bite. Hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Infection from thorn, then gangrene. Thank you.

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  24. Sorry to hear you have been so sick. Thank God for Sweet Wife. Henceforth--Listen To SWeeT WIFE More Often. And from now on, next time you think you are sick go to her first, Doctor second. Okay, don't mean to bitch, but you needed it. All these good people have been praying non-stop, myself included. Get someone to get one of the talking books for Little Bit to record her voice on. Maybe that will make you feel a little better in between your meds. Nuff Said--you need to read between her lines. You know what--they can tell when you are not yourself! I hope you are getting better each and every day. Thanks to Duke, your good friend for reading his blog for updates has been great. Now, before I go getting more sand in my eyes,/ please Get Well Soon. We all miss your blog-- every bit of the adventures, insight,faith & guidance, directness, and joy of living. In My Prayers..

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  25. Yes Mame. Will do, and thanks. Now, take a deep breath, please, relax. I love you, too.

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  26. My father (spider bite) and one of our riding buddy's (ended up in a wheelchair after a car dragged him and his bike)had to have the similar thing done. It's was difficult to be with them when it was being done. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. My thoughts are still with you.

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    1. Thank you, Pretty Lady. You kind thoughts are soothing to the soul.

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  27. Six years ago I had a lobectomy (No not a lobotomy). The hole in my chest was big because the tumor they were removing was huge. They broke a lot of ribs in a lot of places and tweaked muy spine pretty bad. 13" incesion and 32 staples, my back looked like a zipper. At first pain all the time after 5 days they sent me home with oxycodone and percocet. I would deal with the pain until after dinner and then take a percocet and if gave me enough relief to sleep well. Since I had both (oxycodone and percocet) I alternated them. That is how I discovered percocet is so much better then oxycodone. Don't know why, it's just oxycodone with tylenol but it works so much better. Funny, I was worried about oxycodone being addictive and all. But it didn't make me feel "good" or anything like that. All it did is slowly, very slowly relieve the pain until it was bearable or slightly better then bearable. Within a half an hour of taking it I was feeling better and within an hour I could think of other things without being aware of the pain. Iy was still there but not so bad. Unless I sneezed, god that was painful.

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    1. Thank you. Lord knows you've had your share. My experience, I'm sure, pales in comparison to many others injuries..then again, it's all subjective isn't it. God bless you and thanks for the comment.

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