Autumn

Autumn

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Crew

As you well know my shop fronts a busy street. I keep two benches outside for old timers to cop a squat. Early mornings the benches are rubbed smooth by school children as they wait for their buses. Scene set.

I'm kinda grouchy of an early morning especially when I've had less than two cups of coffee. The wee hours provide my quiet time. This morning I'm deep into intellectual thought gathering duties when four of the middle sized boogers begin to take space on the bench directly in front of my office. They get, loud. I'm patient, after all they're children, half-pint adults and this ruckus is to be expected.

Five minutes, ten, enough. I step outside and put on a hard face. The four of them sit straight. Me, "Gentlemen. I really need your guys to cut out the screams and yells. If not you'll be required to wait at the street corner. Got it."

Smartbutt number one, "Why?"

I lied, "Because I'm on the telephone."

Same critter, "I don't be see a phone. Where 'ya phone?"

Takes me a second or two to translate into English. Then, "Oh, it's a landline. An old fashioned telephone"

Booger number two decides he needs attention, "What 'dat mean?"

They were serious, so I said, "Step inside." All four rush into the shop and I pointed towards one of my old and now obsolete communication devices. Products of Western Electric. Both with push button dialing systems.

Booger number one, "Is 'dat really you phone?" (Verbatim, no 'r' on your.) Big squeal of laughter. He continued, "Hey, man, where you be buy 'dis?"

"The flea market." All four yell with laughter. Then I said, "You outta see the pictures I take with it." Truthfully, I thought they'd pee their pants with laughter.

Some days I feel so damn old.

Stephen





   

18 comments:

  1. I don't know whether to be encouraged because they showed some curiosity about the old phones, or appalled at the lack of knowledge of anything pre-2005.

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    1. I often forget their youth...I mean, why would they have knowledge of technology older than them.

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  2. Snicker. I like the picture comment...

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  3. dial phones, rewind a VHS tape, go to a library . . .

    Yeah, we are old.

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    1. And my ankle snaps....thanks, Bubba. Foul weather here, hurry before it leaves.

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    2. What do you mean VHS? How about BETAMAX?

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    3. Now we really are stepping back in time. Never owned a Beta.

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  4. Well, you are old. I am older and just transferred my landline number to my cell phone. Now I can just turn it off when I don't want to be bothered. Then I put it in the RFID case and become invisible. Kids are annoying, and when they are ignorant and not able to speak properly, doubly so.

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    1. No, you are not older than me, Pretty Girl....no way. I'm almost as old as dirt. You ever gonna tell me where you live....??

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  5. Well we are all old, coming to the new world aboard Uncle Noah's big yacht. I love to use the term, "Back in my day"

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    1. I like it, 'back in my day,' and use it too quite frequently.

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  6. My son (age 10) would say something like "that looks a lot like my grandma's phone? But hers isn't that curvy."

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    1. You have a very intelligent ten year old...thanks, Russell.

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  7. Go ahead and feel old . . .
    just keep the ability to tell a good story the way ya do.

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    1. I'll try....thanks, my lovely friend.

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  8. Ooooo! That gives me an idea for a good post soon. I'm glad you are fluent in Ebonics. I am fluent as well and often after I have a conversation with certain black people, Sweet Thing will comment "I'm glad you understood that, I don't have any idea what they were saying" I grew up in an integrated public school, played sports, and worked with blacks so I picked up the lingo years ago. And I probably should admit my natural spoken English is not a whole lot better than that!

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    1. I am surrounded by the lingo....drives me crazy.

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