Autumn

Autumn

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Moves

I'm still here. Sorry for the silence but I've been a very busy man. The 19th of this month I shall drive out of state and help move Little Bit's birth mother to the state of Florida. This move will give her full parental rights and joint custody of my grandchild. Little Bit needs a relationship with her mother.

I've been backed into a corner. I fight when I'm forced into corners, and now I have chosen a side.

I only write this as a note for Little Bit. Hopefully she will read this account of her Papa's life and understand.

I have secured an apartment. Made moves. Her school has been informed of changes, and after Little Bit's mother arrives she will sign papers and remove my son's wife from the 'drop-off' and after school 'pick-up' list. That is all the dirty laundry I wish to reveal on the subject. It isn't fair to you good people.

It's a damn shame but such is life. Thank you all for your very kind prayers. God bless you.


Stephen

72 comments:

  1. It is wonderful that she has such loving grandparents that can be her rock in life. My thoughts are with her. I can't fathom a person who could see a child suffer. I hope all of your lives see some smooth sailing soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Neither do I, dear Mermaid, neither do I. Thank you...

      Delete
  2. I'll just say what I always say...you are a good man. Big hugs and always,always prayers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so very much my sweet friend...

      Delete
  3. Hang in there! You're in my thoughts and prayers. Many of us read your words and wish we lived closer and could be a bigger help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Izzy...it means the world to me. All I ask is for your continued prayers. This is killing me, but I will survive.

      Delete
  4. Such things tear our hearts, keep on with what you can do. It sounds as though whatever problems her mother has, she is making progress. Reading between the lines I fear things seem to be going the other directions with step parents.

    Not much beyond prayers and encouragement that we(HH and Myself) can offer from up here in the show-me-state.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, her birth mother has made great strides in the last few years. She no longer drinks, drug free, quite smoking, and is now enrolled in dental school. She will transfer her credits from school to here. We're awful proud of her.
      As to the other problem, it's the step-mother. She made the big mistake of telling Birth mother that she was no longer Little Bit's mother. Oops....then she told my son, after the State came into the picture, it was our fault for keeping the lines of communication open with BM. He then shutdown or visits. Oops, again. Thank you my friend. Just reading this sorry mess is a help on your end.

      Delete
    2. Excuse me. Should read, 'our visits.'

      Delete
  5. Some folks, ( step-mother ) just doesn't know when to let well enough alone. Sorry for all the hassle you've have had to go through this week. Hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's been said here before by others, but you two are awesome grandparents.

      Delete
    2. Yes, on the step-mother...sadly, they just keep digging themselves deeper into a hole.

      Awesome, not sure. I just want what's best for Little Bit. This whole mess has my insides tied into knots. I just want peace.

      Delete
    3. And, thank you, Matt. You're a good friend.

      Delete
  6. i prayed my heart out. i prayed for my dear sweet one, his Sweet Wife and his Heart. i will keep praying for all. you know how much all of this means to me. all of my love, always.

    your friend,
    kymber

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sweet One. I add more but I'm pressed for time...

      Delete
  7. We do what we have to do. Take care of the little bit.

    My grandaughter is living with us and her mother 1/2 the time. The other half she's with her father in RI. Recently we discovered she'll be in school in RI. We'll get her during all the summer and holidays and every school vacation. Still, not what I'd have chosen.

    It was a very ugly divorce a few years back. Really had to keep my anger in check.

    The kid's doing pretty good though. Lot's of conditons on the father. My daughter is doing well, but it's been a long trip.

    When familys split, it's really rough. My prayers are with you. Hope things get better in the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry, my friend. Family issues can so often spiral out of control. Like mine.
      Thank you for your kind comment.

      Delete
  8. Don't know the particulars but I am sure you are doing what is best.

    One reason I refused to re-marry or even co-habitate for more than 10 years after my divorce was the fact that I had custody of my son. Personally I just feel it is wrong to introduce a step parent until the child is grown enough to be their own person. Not being judgmental to anyone but a child's life should be free from adult emotional tug of wars which happen even with the best of step parents. Even without ill will it is an issue that always comes up and no single parent or step parent can control the situation enough to ensure it doesn't happen.

    I guess that is also true with grandparents actually.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish my son had been able to take advice from you. Then again, he seldom ever takes advice from me. Well said and thank you my friend.

      Delete
  9. I went through this when I was growing up.

    My parents were not fighting , but the parents of my step-siblings were. You find out some surprising things about people in family court.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sad, but true. Thank you very much, Russell.

      Delete
  10. Good Luck to you and Little Bit Stephen. I hope all goes well for both of you :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So do I, my friend, so do I. Thank you.

      Delete
  11. I am so glad that Lil Bit is not alone in this. Thank you for being there for her.

    Hugs and peace-filled thoughts to her and you and your sweet wife.

    ReplyDelete
  12. We your blog family is always here for you. You know that.
    I understand that you need to do whatever it takes to make LB happy and keep your stress down. We all know you will keep us posted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Rob. You're a kind friend.

      Delete
  13. Stephen,
    As I have said before, the love of a grandparent for grandchild is unimaginable...you think you love your children, but then the grandkids enter and your love intensifies, grows beyond comprehension. You do what you have to do. Nothing else matters but her security, her stability, her needs. Grandparents, good grandparents, will walk through hell and back for their little ones at a time in their (the grandparents) lives that the walking has become a bit more difficult or challenging. Wisdom comes with age and that wisdom protects the young ones in our lives. The Good Lord knew what he was doing in designing generations! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and sweet wife, Little Bit, and her mother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sweet Lady. Like you said, grandparents are special because of grandchildren. I'd die for this little girl.

      Delete
  14. Praying for wisdom & peace to prevail.

    Southern Gal

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so very much, Southern Gal...

      Delete
  15. Phyllis (N/W Jersey)May 10, 2012 at 7:00 PM

    Dear Stephen and Sweet Wife,
    My heart aches knowing what you both are going through right now.
    Give it time, nerves are raw, things will get better. Seems like her mother is on the right track and that is good for all, especially for Little Bit.
    May you be blessed with patience and understanding and know that we are praying for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Phyllis...I haven't seen my Little Bit in days and have no idea of her state of mind nor her condition. It's killing me...

      Delete
  16. Stephen, after all you do for that little girl, don't you dare apologize for slow posting. We'll be here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you my friend...old habits die hard...God bless you.

      Delete
  17. Stephen, we are going through a similar situation. Y'all have our sincere prayers in this. The one's that get hurt the most are the little ones.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, it's the little ones that pay for their parents bad decisions. Thank you and I truly hope your situation works out for the best. Thank you, my friend.

      Delete
  18. Sometimes the right thing to do is the hardest decision to make. I respect you deeply for doing the difficult thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, 45er, this has been a tough decision to make, but, I had little in the way of options.

      Delete
  19. You and Sweet Wife are very loving grandparents! It is nice Little Bit can see her mom, and good for her mom as well. She deserves that. .she sounds like her life has completely changed. Little Bit knows your love is the greatest love. Sometimes other adults don't do or say the things they should. I think that is why grandparents are here--to pick up the pieces. You all are In My Prayers. .

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with people that are self absorbed. If anyone involved in the situation thought about the your angel first there would be no quarreling. It's just not fair for the child. I wish the biological mom all the best wishes in the world, and I pray for y'all's peace, and for your son and his wife's wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sweetheart....really, thank you.

      Delete
  21. God Bless all involved - the needs of vulnerable children are paramount and supersede all and everything.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Stephen,
    ((((((Stephen and Sweet Wife))))))) hugs and prayers to the both of you for having Little Bit's interest at heart. You both are the solid rock and structure Little Bit needs. Little Bit may not understand all that is going on but she sure knows you and your Sweet Wife are there for her. It's a shame Children see and or hear so much in divorce situations. I'm happy to hear Little Bit's mom has turned her life around and has the opportunity to be back in her daughters life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For the reason you stated above, 'she's turned her life around,' and for the fact Little Bit needs, I mean needs, her mother is the reason I've chosen her side. I must always think of this beautiful child's needs above all else...thank you, Sandy.

      Delete
  23. given all the crap - VERY happy you found a path that can work for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you my good friend. When I'm able to catch my breath I have a little gift for you...I'll send it soon. Give kymber a hug for me.

      Delete
  24. God bless you and your Sweet Wife. I am going thru simular sh#t here. Son is having a time trying to keep "step dad" from forcing the issue of being called "Daddy". GD, 5, is now having to ask, My real Dad?. Geez. I can hardly contain myself. Good thing I don't own a weapon other than my smart as#ed mouth, and I don't get to use it often enough or direct it toward the deserving people. Prayers for you and yours as always.
    T

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The very same thing began with my son's wife two days after their marriage. That, 'call me Mommy,' stuff. They forced her. I'm sorry for your troubles and understand. Isn't it awful we must deal with these silly facets of life....thank you, my good friend.

      Delete
  25. I know you are doing the right thing. Stay strong and fight for her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my friend. I shall do my best.

      Delete
  26. You are always in our prayers. You will always fight the good fight and will come out a winner one way or another.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John, my friend, your prayers are most welcome. I awoke at 0200 this morning, and prayed. I'm not ashamed to admit, I hurt.

      Delete
  27. I didn't read all the comments, but your post sounds to me like you are doing what you think is best. Keep it up and be strong, I will certainly hope for the best for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you, Max, and God bless.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Prayers sent up for all concerned, as was typed above do what you need to do, we'll be here.

    Grog
    III

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grog, thank you very much...God bless.

      Delete
  30. You are awesome grandparents. Prayers & hugs to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thinking and praying for you all. Some life decisions are harder than others but when you finally decide and you know you did it for all the right reasons (Lil Bit's well being), then everything will work itself out. Good luck and let me know if there is anything I can do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Some decisions are harder than others..' Very true and this has been a hard decision to make for both of us. Thanks, my sweet friend.

      Delete
  32. Please forgive this late submission, due to all the traveling I've been doing.

    I pray you've chosen wisely, and that it works out to Little Bit's benefit. We'll keep you in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing to forgive, my friend. I pray I have chose wisely too. I must do what I can for Little Bit. I'm so depressed at the moment I can hardly function.

      Delete
  33. Stephen, we do what we have to for our children. I'm glad that her mother is willing and able to be a good part of her life. You've been there for her, and I pray that you will be able to be there for her in the future. And don't worry, she'll know you love her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, DaddyBear. Her mother is chomping at the bit to get here. I sure Little Bit know we love her, more than she'll ever know. It just hurts so bad not holding and loving her.

      Delete
  34. I am truly sorry for all you (and your sweet wife) are going through Stephen, but I can see the Lord's hand at work here, He is using you to put that precious child back in contact with her mama. Right now it is hard and painful, but it will all work out in the end. You will continue to be in my prayers and I look forward to hearing the reunion stories!
    God Bless you,
    Shar

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Shar. Sweet Wife reminds me several times a day it's all in the Good Lord's hands now.

      Delete
  35. The influence of kind and supportive grandparents and extended family is beyond measure. Keep up the good work. You have our prayers that all goes well in the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mrs. S., the prayers are certainly welcome.

      Delete
  36. LB is so lucky to have you and your sweet wife. I hope that these things are settled quickly, you all deserve some peace. My prayers are with you all.

    ReplyDelete