Friday, November 4, 2011

Fun In The Everglades

This is what I call fun.


My Friend

My friend, Duke, just left my office. He came in about an hour ago and we sat and chatted about the condition of his sweet mother-in-law.

He is not in a good mood.

I would hate to be the man that pisses him off today.

If you do, run.


Bits & Pieces

It's gray with rain and gusty winds here this morning. I love it.

Opened my business bank statement this morning and noticed a charge for 'separate deposit.' Said, 'huh?' I'd never seen such in all my years of business with this bank. Now, it wasn't much, just $1.32, but come on, give me a freaking break. Called 'em. Nice lady explained to me that when I make multiple deposits, or two per month, they levee an extra charge. She went on to further explain I'd made a deposit on the 3rd and 31st of October.

I suppose it's awful difficult for a teller to count two stacks of cash twice in one month...

I so understand Scrooge.

Had a customer walk in yesterday with a friend (or family member) that is visiting from out of state. This friend or family member was sorta light in his loafers....

I'm busy helping my customer as his friend and/or family member begins to amble around in my shop. Mr. Pinky checks out my displays and items of interest I have placed here and there; little keepsakes from my past. Like this:

and this:
Anyway, Mr. Light In His Loafers comes to one of my glass display shelves and stands and begins to stare at an old round of .50 caliber once used in a Ma Deuce. It's vintage WW2.

Mr. Liberal Pink Socks turns to me and (I swear) asks, "Is this a real 'bullet?' Don't you just hate it when a weenie refers to a round of ammunition as a bullet....
I glance up and mumbled, "Yes, it is."

Then, and I swear on all that's Holy, "Isn't that dangerous?"

I look at my customer, give him the 'ole 'what 'da *&*k.'

My customer turns a pale shade of red. I don't blame him. I look over at Mr. Wussie of Year and replied, "Have you looked around, Sport." He proceeds to look around. I then say, "You're surrounded by live ammunition. and besides, the one round in front of you is close to seventy years old."

Him, "Oh."

Sometimes I just can't let opportunities like this slip away, so said, "Yes, it is possible that the round could explode at any moment."

 He backed away and took a seat. I don't really believe he bought it, but I tried.