Autumn

Autumn

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Bits & Pieces

Allow me first to say I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday and I haven't as yet had a chance to answer all your nice comments. To say I've been busy would be an understatement.

Things did not go as well as we expected yesterday. As a matter of fact it was an old fashioned 'cluster f*&k.'  I will not explain all the gory details. I'll just touch the highlights. Little Bit's father panicked after the school's principle called him (thinking he was helping the situation) and told our son of our morning appointment. Our son borrowed funds and hired an attorney and sued Little Bit's mother for an injunction, barring her from removing Little Bit from the school's campus. He thought she (the birth mother) had plans to take her out of state. This wasn't her plan. He wasn't aware BM had moved here permanently. 

Little Bit's mother was met at the school by a process server. The injunction barred her from taking Little Bit off campus for a visit. In the meantime Little Bit's father kept her from school and fled. We do not know the whereabouts of our grandchild. The state is actively in pursuit. The principle of the school wasn't aware she wasn't in attendance. He held his head in shame.

Needless to say I have an appointment with our attorney this morning and will fight this legal battle in the name of Little Bit's mother.

I fought another battle with myself last evening. I wasn't sure if I should or should not share the details of this incident, then I remembered this is a journal, of sorts,  for Little Bit. I'd even written an email to kymber, my sweet friend, and told her I was not planning to write publicly about this mess. I truly hope one day Little Bit forgives the pain she has had to endure from the awful actions of her parents. We, as grandparents, suffer for and with her.

I sincerely apologize that you, my dear friends, must read these awful details.

On a brighter note I've just received word Sweet Wife has called the school and Little Bit is in attendance and my wife and Little Bit's mother will have lunch with Little Bit today. It will be the first time she has seen her mother in over four years. Wish I could be there for the happy occasion.


Again, thank you all so much for the blessings and prayers you have sent our way.

Stephen

49 comments:

  1. You have a tough row to hoe, Stephen. Keep your chin up- you are doing the right thing.

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    1. Thank you, my good friend. It's so awful hard to 'keep my chin up' these days. It seems my life goes from good to bad overnight.

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  2. Panic always results in rushed, impulsive reactions. Once everyone has had time to calm down and get the true facts of the situation (BM living in the state) I'm sure that commonsense will prevail.

    Thank goodness that SW & BM will be able to have lunch with LB - at least LB can now find out what has been going on, and will be reassured that not only have you and SW not deserted her but you are re-uniting her with her mother :)

    Bless you all.

    And, thank you for sharing this "mess" with us - through doing so you will empower others who may be in a similar situation.

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    1. Yes indeed. He did panic. This is what happens when you fail to answer any form of communication. I tried to tell him and he refuses to answer his phone.
      It shames me, to tell you the truth, to chronicle this awful mess. So, I hope my words do empower others to share their lives. Thanks, my sweet friend.

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    2. There is no shame for you to shoulder Stephen. This is an ugly situation but instead of pretending, you have the strength to share.. So many people need to see the courage of others in order to find it in themselves.. When you open up you help others realize they are not alone and you give the gift of caring. You allow others to be a support to you.

      Thinking of you all!!

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  3. Phyllis (N/W Jersey)May 22, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    My heart aches for all of you. I, like so many others, have been through this with our precious grandchildren caught in the middle. I hope our prayers give you comfort.

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    1. Trust me, my dear Phyllis, your prayers are most welcome and do lend comfort.

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  4. My heart goes out for you. Been there. Remortaged a nearly paid off house to hire a good lawyer so my daughter could keep her parental rights. Worth every penny. It's only stuff.

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    1. Sixbears, my friend, it this keeps up I might need to write a check on our line of credit...I hope not, but it might happen. Thanks, Bubba.

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    1. Thanks, Mrs. S., we need those prayers.

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  6. dear sweet one...this is a mess right now and i know that you feel shamed, but you shouldn't. i think Little Bit will want to know all of the details that happened when she gets a little older. and this chronicle is for her.

    the rest of us who are along for the ride can learn from all of this. and be here to support you.

    if there is anything that we can do, please don't hesitate to ask. we have all of you in our daily prayers. this will get better, my dear sweet friend.

    your friends,
    kymber and jambaloney

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    1. Dear one, prayers are enough. I hope all turns out well but I just don't know. The injunction also states she can't visit her mother without her father present. He's just gone mean on me. I don't get it. Thanks, kymber.

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  7. May Heaven protect us all from "well-intentioned" educators. In the meantime, I'm so sorry you have this heartache to face - and so glad that it seems to be resolved.

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    1. Amen, my friend. Thank you. Heartache is very correct.

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  8. I'm so sorry all of you have had to go through this. It must be especially confusing for LB. Hopefully, now that she is back in school, the dust will settle and the air will clear, and things will work for her welfare. I'll keep you in my prayers.

    Blessings,
    Red

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    1. Red, Little Bit had lunch today with her Nana and her mother. She was overjoyed. Wanted to come home with them. But, of course, it wasn't possible. Thanks, for the prayers and the nice comment.

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  9. I can tell you for a fact it is going to be OKAY.
    I do not spill much about me in public, But I have been through similar circumstances. It will be okay.
    I did not see some of my grand kids for a few years...and well now....two of the little ones are living at the house with us......YOU WILL BE OKAY bro....
    I suffered the same emotions....I feel ya....

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    1. I hope so my friend. I asked my attorney to sue for our Grandparents Rights. He shall. If nothing else I'll have that to protect us if we are granted our rights. Thank you, my good friend.

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  10. Hang in there, let me know if I can do anything.

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    1. Get your Ninja suit cleaned. Thanks, Bubba.

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  11. hold fast stephen - you are almost there!

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    1. Thanks, Jamie...it's a 'fur' piece to the horizon...

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  12. The principal should be educated. And this Is a private school! As a small child, I was gone for 3 days and my mother couldn't find us ( my older brother was taken also---both of us from School). Scary stuff.. . . . . . I am so glad you shared with us your story. Their are others that will find their strength and become determined to be as courageous for the child. Sweet Wife and all concerned have common interest--Little Bit. It will get better from here, and so happy to hear The 3 girls having lunch!<3. You have no reason to feel shame. You are doing this and the outcome will definitely be good for her and she will know it. In My Prayers. .

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    1. Thanks, Sis...it helps, your kind words and prayers.

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  13. OK so you win the gold medal in the Stressed Out Olympics.

    I see a need to go to the gun range. Time to sling as much lead as you can. I think an AR or two may do the job.

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    1. There are plenty of targets around here...if I go nuts and you hear gunfire down there...you'll know why. Thanks, my friend.

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  14. Stephen,

    My family will continue to hold you, Sweet Wife and Little Bit in our prayers. As a grand parent, you have every right to make sure LB's is being taken care of properly. Most grand parents don't know this, they also have legal rights to see their grand kids. Sometimes having an attorney at bay to assist is the best thing for everyone involved. No need to apologize for expressing your feelings on your blog. Take a deep breath and realize you have friends that are out here if you need them.

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    1. Sandy, sweet lady, thank you so very much...deep breath taken.

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  15. Count on our clan to add to your prayers.

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    1. Thanks, K. You're a fine friend.

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  16. Stephen, Good Luck to you getting through this. I do hope the other side of the journey gets a bit easier and you will have a lot less stress and headaches dealing with this.

    Take care my friend.

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  17. Dear sweet Stephen, yes I promise you Little Bit WILL want to know all that happened because right now, she is powerless and cannot even really comprehend the situation.

    And THIS blog will bring her great comfort and help her sort this mess out later if she needs to. And she needs to know all the good, bad, and ugly. The beauty, strength, love, kindness, prayers, hearts swelling with compassion, empathy, and especially all these "arms holding hoes" here helping you, your wife, and HER to "hoe the line", we are here right along with you. See, go back and count and you will see that the GOOD far out weighs the "bad" to recount.

    Right now I see myself all those years ago and it wasn't until after my dad died that I was able to 'put all the pieces together' ... it would have been such a RELIEF to have had something like this to read, something honest, something NOT sugar coated. Something REAL.

    Adults tend to not be blunt and honest with kids, they do not give ALL the information. With all sides giving their own point of view and keeping parts from her, she is being torn now in three directions. She loves ALL of you. And to her it is so simple: "Let me love all of you". But for adults, well they complicate things because of their own fears and desires. And honestly sometimes there ARE things that kids just do not need to know at the time.

    However, she will grow up and she will remember this heart breaking time when she was so torn and yet so full of innocence and love. So do NOT stop keeping this journal for her: no matter how many keyboards you blow out with your (and ours) tears.

    THIS is a gift of love to her from YOU. Yes it is hard to write about the bad stuff -so very hard, just as it will be hard for her to read it (and Little Bit, I'm crying tears WITH YOU right now) BUT the truth is what she will need and it has to be complete. And YOU -her ROCK, are the one to do it.

    Trust me, this blog for her is one of the BEST GIFTS you could EVER give her!

    Now I'm sorry for going on and on (I plead being half Irish, cause we never know when to shut up) but I do want to send huge hugs to you all and good thoughts and prayers.

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    1. It's okay, I'm Irish too. What a nice comment. Heartfelt and honest. Thank you very much and God bless you Kellie...

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  18. Praying that everything works out as it should. We're here if you need us.

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    1. Thank you, my sweet friend. Prayers help.

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  19. Stephen, please don't be ashamed. You created her father, but you did not create his problems. Little Bit is caught in the middle, but she has you and Sweet Wife to be her rocks, her anchors, her safe haven. I cannot express just how much having a place of rest and love to come to will mean to her in the future. Please do what you need to do, legally, to protect that position in the life of her and her brother, to make sure no one can keep them from you.
    It's raining here again. I'm going to go out on my observation deck (the front porch) and watch both netflix and the neighborhood card group tippling the evening away while they play...it looks like cribbage tonight. You'd be surprised how amusing it is to watch a group of elders get snockered. Far more interesting than the parties the teenage neighbor throws when his parents are at work.
    If you wouldn't mind, my puppy (i posted a little about him on my blog a while back) had emergency surgery today and I'd appreciate any kind thoughts anyone wants to send his way. Sorry to intrude. Thank you.

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    1. Very good point, my lovely friend. Unfortunately his problems have slapped me a good one.

      Kind thoughts and prayers for your pet...thank you very much.

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  20. I'm glad she's accounted for and that her mother and grandmother got to see her. We'll keep praying, you keep hoping.

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    1. Thanks, my friend. I'm happy we at least know she's fine, though unhappy according to my wife. Thank you for the prayers.

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  21. I wish more people would do what is right for the child like yourself. The world would be such a better place.

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    1. Indeed. Thank you my friend. Sure is nice to hear from such wonderful people like yourself...

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  22. Hey, you know the guys have your back. Just ask shipmate!

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    1. Thank you my good friend. And, I have yours.

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  23. Matthew 18:15-20

    Still praying...

    Southern Gal

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    1. Thanks, my sweet friend. Sometimes I forget He does exist and extends His hand for us.

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  24. I am so sorry that you all are going through this. Just. . . Just. . .more hugs.

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    1. It's a nightmare, at present. Thank you so much for the hugs. God bless.

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