This morning she walked from her father's house into the cold air with a mile wide smile. Her hand held a small Christmas gift sack and shyly came to me, wrapped her little arms around mine and said, "Papa, I have a present for you."
What a nice way to begin my day. I said, "Thank you, Honey. I'll open it in the truck."
A few minutes later, on the road, I reached and took her gift. A DVD of Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer.
"Do you like it, Papa?" I said of course, thank you, what a nice and thoughtful present. She giggled, then became serious.
"Papa?"
"What, Honey."
"Will I be able to wear pretty clothes in Heaven?" She is such a girl...
Now, I'm thinking, in which direction will this conversation take us this morning, and I need Rev. Paul in the backseat for consultation.
She waits. Those big beautiful brown eyes search my face, her left hand holds mine. So, I give her the answer I know she wants, and in truth, deserves.
"Yes, My Love, you'll be able to wear all the pretty clothes you want in heaven."
Little squeal of delight...
Then, "And, Papa, will God lets me live in Candyland, too, I dreams about Candyland all the time, Papa."
I chuckled, and replied, "Honey, first of all, why did you ask about the pretty clothes?"
"Cause, Papa, I read my bible. And I asked my teacher about what angels wear and she said they were white things, and I asked if it was okay for me to wear my pink pajamas and she said she didn't know but thought it would be okay and Papa I almost didn't sleep all night 'cause I wants to wear my pink pajamas and not some stupid white thing, okay."
She takes a deep breath, cheeks pink. I see a traffic light ahead, and ease up on the speed; I can tell she isn't quite finished. Then, "Papa, will God love me as much as you, and will he wear his gun to take care of me from all the bad peoples like you do?"
Talk about your loaded question....
I thought for a moment, decided to take them in order. "Yes, God will allow you to live in Candyland. Little Bit, Heaven is a wonderful place. There is no fear, no pain, everyone is happy. God loves you, not sure if he loves you as much as Papa, but he indeed loves you. (Do not argue this point with me - I'd give my life for this child, as Jesus gave his for us.)
And Yes, Honey, you may wear your pink pajamas. Sweetheart, God is perfect, and God is all powerful, he doesn't need to wear a gun to protect you. Remember, in heaven people are nice. You'll always be safe in heaven."
We sit in silence for a few seconds, the morning bright. I glance over and she appears to be deep in thought. I make a preemptive strike.
"Little Bit." She's smiles and waits. "Why have you asked Papa about Heaven so much lately?"
In the blink of an eye, and before I have a chance to utter another word, she releases her seatbelt and climbs onto the console of the truck and wraps her arms around me. She squeezes me tightly, and then - "Papa, I read my bible, and it says we'll all be together in Heaven one day, and I worry about it, Papa."
In truth, she's afraid of the unknown.
"Little Bit."
She will not release me, and in fact is now softly repeating, "My Papa, my Papa, my Papa."
I gently kiss her, and tried again, "Sweetheart, please, snap your seatbelt. Honey, you need not worry about Heaven. It will be a very long time before we both go to Heaven. I'll always be here, Little Bit. Always."
I lied.
Rips my heart out.
(Post script) For those of you new to my blog, my grandchild, Little Bit, attends a private Christian school. She is six years old, and a bright little girl. She is also my heart.
To be continued, I'm certain.
Stephen
Little ones have a way of melting your heart.
ReplyDeleteBTW I'm expecting a movie night of just the guys so we can watch Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer.
Yes, they can, my friend. On the movie, done deal, it's a classic you know...
DeleteStephen, thank you for these posts about Little Bit. It's a gift that I appreciate.
ReplyDeleteYou're more than welcome and thank you for reading them. I do this for her.
DeleteI dread such questions and anxieties from my children.
ReplyDeleteI understand, as do I. Yet, that's why they have us. Thanks, my friend.
DeleteIf I may: Isaiah 61:10 says that, upon arrival in Heaven, the Lord will array us in "garments of salvation and ... a robe of his righteousness". It doesn't specify a color.
ReplyDeleteSo, my opinion: the Lord loves diversity. Just look at what He has created, all around us, and assume He did it to please both us and Himself - He pronounced it "good", after all. Therefore, I can't imagine the population of Heaven looking like a box of cotton balls. There have to be different colors there.
See, this why you should ride along each morning. Thank you, my good friend. I knew you'd have the correct answer.
DeleteLittle Bit will wear the most beautiful colors in heaven unlike any she has seen on earth.
ReplyDeleteThanks, what a wonderful answer. I'll pass along your comment in the morning, Mamma Bear.
DeleteThat child touches my heart, she is already an angel on earth. Share 1Corinthians 2:9 with her sometime, it is my favorite scripture and I think she will like it.
ReplyDeleteShar
Shar, notes taken, and thank you very much for the nice comment. She is indeed my angel.
DeleteExcuse me. Got something in my eye...
ReplyDeleteThanks, my friend.
DeleteStephen - I hope you can keep her in a small Christian school the entire time. Between you and them she may have a chance!
ReplyDeleteJC
So do I. I'll try with all my heart and soul. Thank you.
DeleteSo sweet! She needed to give you that little present. That Little Bit has a heart of gold like her Papa. It is so good that you can comfort her fears of the unknown, it will stay with her forever.
ReplyDeleteI try, I really do try. Thank you, Sweet Lady.
DeleteWow. Sure is dusty in here today...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing these. Helps me mentally prepare for when That Kiddo starts asking the hard questions.
You enjoy it...it indeed changes your life forever. Thanks, my friend.
DeleteDear Stephen - i have nothing to add to the wonderful comments already posted by the wonderful people above.
ReplyDeleteexcept one thing: i love pink too. and i love pink bunny ears. and i really, really, really love Little Bit's gorgeous pink coat. and want it. no, like seriously. i want it!
i am so glad that she has a Papa to talk things out with and cling to. Stephen, i am so glad for her.
your friend,
kymber
She said, nope, its mine....with a giggle. Thank you, Sweet Lady.
DeleteShe's so amazing. I have two of these coming myself and I'm sure I'll be dealing with these. I can already tell you this, it's darn near impossible to make a preemptive strike with a smart child. Their little brains are just question generators.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, it's hard. I try. Thank you for the kind comment, my good friend.
DeleteStephen, I follow your blog tho I have not become a "friend" yet as I am just not sure how its done! Very techo illiterate. Have also responded to your posts about the love of grandparents. Anyway, I have a serious request...my daughter and her husband blessed us with a wonderful granddaughter Natalie. They went on to have a stillborn son, Blaise, at 34 weeks (whom we still grieve for three years later) followed by 13 miscarriages. my daughter is now 22 weeks pregnant with our grandson Sebastian. Yesterday, we found out that our precious little one is in serious danger and needs to reach a certain birthweight to be delivered so drs can address other issues. Essentially, he has stopped growing so reaching that weight will take a miracle. I know how deeply you care for your grandchildren. You know, thru my posts, mine. Please help me to spread the word that Sebastian needs prayers. Serious prayers. As do my daughter, son-in-law, and my granddaughter who is old enough to be devistated by the loss of another little brother. Please pray with us, ask other grandparents to pray that another precious little one will survive and bring so much love, joy, and hope to his family. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteBeth, I'm so very sorry to hear this news. I have posted your request. Your grandchild is in my prayers. I'm sure the Good Lord will hear our prayers. God Bless you and yours.
Delete