Autumn

Autumn

Saturday, August 24, 2013

The Calendar

The last few dates of our kitchen calendar have been inked with, 'you shall sleep alone.'

Meaning me. She recently broke the news she plans to drive her mother to Atlanta for a medical procedure and afterwards on to South Carolina for our nephew's wedding.

Early this evening she asked if I'd please attend.

Me, attend a wedding. Now that's funny.

I don't do weddings, nor funerals. I attend rifle and pistol ranges, campfires, fishing holes, and any campsite with an old iron pot hung over a fire. I also attend, and will sign the guest book, to any gunshow. If hard pressed I'll attend county fairs, but only if it has a farm animal exhibit. Chickens and cows are cool. I have also been known to attend church, my granddaughter's school Christmas play, and boxing matches. But that's about it. I don't do crowds filled with poodle walkers and especially those known to attract metrosexuals.

She doesn't return until the second of September which gives me four full days of bachelorhood. I've plans. I should sit and put a few thoughts on a sheet of paper and make a list of those firearms I haven't shot in years and pull them from the safe. There are even a few for which have never had their pretty triggers tickled by my finger....the poor lovely lasses. They too shall be included along with select amounts of precious ammunition.


Our group meets next week at the shop and I'm sure I can recruit a few, if not all, to attend an early September range session. Perhaps make it a full day with the hours afterwards spent around a campfire with a skillet of bacon and a big pot of hot coffee and maybe even a good cigar.

Not sure though...a couple of 'em have been known to attend weddings and such silliness. One or two even wear those boy scout style shorts in public. This younger generation, I tell 'ya...

My friend and fellow group member, Senior has plans to mow the range grass and weeds to a manageable level. I've agreed to lend a hand as he's kinda busy these days with his late father's estate. We'll see. 

I know Duke will be present on the firing line. He'll of course bring along his wonderful and heavy range bag filled with various morsels. I always set my gear close to Duke's. We're buddies, he and I. He's a sucker for fresh homemade peanut butter cookies. If you place a paper plate filled with the aforementioned goodness, on the bench, he gets very distracted and will often step a foot or so away from his range bag. Just saying....I baked a batch tonight and will whip out another the night before we gather to burn powder.

I should also remind myself to not forget the Tannerite.


Weddings are for chumps.




Stephen

27 comments:

  1. And I have to drive over an hour to get to a gun range, walk in with my pistol unloaded, pay for a paper target and ear muffs. Then I get to stand in a concrete bunker with idiots on either side of me whom I don't know, but know not to trust.

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    Replies
    1. I'll ask the guys if you may attend, if given approval you should leave early in the morning, drive hard. We need someone cute to stir the beans and pour coffee. Of course we'll expect to see some fine shooting. You do own an AR or M1A, don't you. Hell, we'll even smile if you whip out your, AK47. Practice your transition between handgun and rifle. Slings help. Wear hearing protection and boots, the water moccasins are thick and you also need a good mosquito net. We like our iced tea cold. Jerky helps too.

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    2. I make my own jerky, but it sounds like I'd be surrounded by jer...uh....How about if I wear boots and do surveillance around the camp, keeping it clear of predators so you all can play safely? Oh, and of course I'll be serving coffee.

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    3. That works for me. BTW, it's next weekend.

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  2. Well I am up for a Saturday camp stay, it will give me a chance to try out my Cabelas Geodesic dome before my trip to NC/VA. There is nothing like the smell of fresh cut grass with gunpowder.

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    1. I don't care if we camp as much as sit and chat, afterwards, with a good fire. I want to see some fireflies and maybe chomp a cigar and hear some silly stuff from ShooterSteve. I haven't had a good laugh in weeks.

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    2. Well Steve and his comments will be able to provide some humor. We need to camp to experience nature and we can take pictures of you running at night with your loin cloth on.

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    3. Now don't you make fun of my loin clothe. I'll have it dry cleaned before the trip. Pictures not allowed.

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  3. bahahahahah! oh i do believe that The Duke will start keeping a closer eye on his bag o' gear after this post! i hope you all get out and have a wonderful time. you just promise to be good you...don't make me have to oil up the *ss-kicking boots.

    your friend,
    kymber

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    Replies
    1. Nah, Duke's easy. I'll yell, 'Deer,' and he'll run in the direction pointed thinking of liver for dinner. You're such a badass....

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  4. Enjoy your time with the boys. Hot Lead will fly. I would suggest a couple of paper targets but hey NSA maybe reading this too. kymber laugh.

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    1. Ah, man, suggest...don't be afraid. Remember this our damn country, not theirs. She is a hoot...probably couldn't beat her way out of a wet paper sack.

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  5. Stephen,

    I truly believe Duke has a surprise for you, lol.....
    He's aware of your motives with the peanut butter cookies.

    Please tell SW to be careful driving, have a safe trip.

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    Replies
    1. Well, shucks, he is now....

      I will. And,thanks, Sweet Sandy.

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  6. Have a good time while you are on your own. I don't do weddings or funerals either.

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    1. If you leave Friday evening we'll meet you at the shop...

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  7. Have fun! Nothing like a good campfire and tall tales!
    (Always knew you really did like chickens!) :o)

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    1. Oh, yes, love me some fried chicken....we will, thanks, Sweet Lady.

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  8. The shooting, camping, cooking out and swapping of tales sounds like a wonderful time. Enjoy, my friend, and may it refresh your soul.

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  9. Replies
    1. Hey, pack the truck and hit the road.

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  10. I'm aware of your tricks. I now have dye packs in my range bag.

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    Replies
    1. dear sweet one - i think you've been caught - bahahahahah!

      good on ya Duke, buddy!

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    2. Nah, it's all an illusion.

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