Autumn

Autumn

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Sleep

It's 0315. I can't sleep. The house is quiet other than the hum of this laptop. I don't know why I lack the ability for a full nights rest, but there you are...

In a few hours I'll jump into the shower and pack a few items in my bag and leave to take Little Bit to breakfast and school. The thought of it makes me smile. Afterwards to my shop and then an afternoon with the cardiologist. The thought of that doesn't make me smile...


Anyhow.

The Pimp came in twice today. Called me six times. He must be in a world of hurt. On both visits he arrived with pieces of crap handguns....and I mean bad. One was a Cobra .25, the frame hand painted black. His asking price was silly;  $175.00. I offered him ten bucks. The second isn't even worth description. It was a little revolver with at least three missing parts. I told him it was a paperweight. You'd of thought I'd kicked him in the teeth based on his reaction.

Just before I closed the shop he phoned again...told me he wanted one more try. Said he had a Sig Revolver chambered in 32/20. Said he'd bring it by today. Really, he did...should be interesting.

I hear an owl...beautiful. Lonely sound. I live next door to a game preserve. The wildlife add richness to the nights. I never know what signs I will find during the morning hours. There are always the tracks, scat, leftover pieces of fish from the river, feathers and fur. A couple of years ago I found two baby 'possums asleep in my yard waste trashcan, cute little boogers, with teeth.

Think I'll switch out my carry piece today. Maybe my Smith model 19. Not sure yet. Any suggestions. Even though she's chambered in .357,  I pack it filled with plus 'P' .38's. Hollow points. The trigger is to die for, as they say. This is a file photo, mines prettier....


Rambling, aren't I...

I've just set a pot of tea to the flame. Not sure why but I find myself drinking far more tea than coffee while at home. Weird.


Many, many years ago, while in Africa, I had a fella make me a cup of tea. It had a green tint. Said it would make me strong and produce a great many children (as he offered his youngest daughter to me) and said I should drink the tea in one large gulp. It was thick with canned condensed milk and sugar. I did as he asked. I hallucinated for the next ten or twelve hours. Headache like you wouldn't believe. When I awoke my wristwatch was missing and my day pack had been searched. When asked what in the hell he'd given me he just smiled and said a long life. The girl was all smiles. Don't ask....

I never did like Mombasa.

Just before her death I took my mother to British Columbia, Victoria. She collected tea cups. Victoria is famous for its bone china. She was in tea cup heaven. Before we left, I swear, she had at least one of everything, including porcelain tea bobs. I'll never forget the trip. She smiled for a week. Died a few months later. See, this is what happens when one can't sleep. Memories are killing....

I need to get away for a while. Take a trip. Zone out. I never use the term, vacation. I've never taken a vacation and returned home rested. Never. It's a myth. Now, I've taken many trips and found them relaxing, peaceful and at times even enjoyable. But never restful.

It's time for us to make our annual trip to Cedar Key. Spend some time kicked back with a good book in my lap. Snoop around the place and find the best local fresh seafood market and utilize the condo kitchen and make a meal worth my time and efforts, screw restaurants. Watch the boats slip in and out of the channel, and hopefully, sleep as the thunderstorms pound the tin roof. I like to stroll over to the west side of the island and take a seat on the seawall and watch as the sun sets. For some reason its better on Cedar Key. Perhaps its the lack of people which leaves the island quiet - few vehicles, horns, sirens. 

Unfortunately, for the first time in my life, I now find myself with health issues. The rest of this month is heavily scheduled with doctor appointments, and now I understand they want me to take rehab. I asked for what reason. I'm fine. No, they replied, you had a heart attack. Big friggin deal. I left the hospital the second day, feel fine, and damn sure don't have time for three time a week rehab sessions. Anyhow, Cedar Key is off until at least May or June. Damn it.


Not sure what the problem is with my wi/fi of late. It cuts in and out...ticks me off. I wanted to run over to my friend Matt's new blog and provide a link and tell all you good folks of his return. I'll try later this morning. If I must I'll post this and return and edit for the hot link. Not sure if the problem is my system or Comcast. My bets on them...

Done, please take a moment and run over and say hello. He's a nice guy and a fine friend.

Sweet Wife just came in and asked if I'm okay. She worries about me more than usual. Bless her. I dearly love her. I stole her, as 'they' used to say, from the nest. She's six years younger. Just a baby. We met at a local festival; her all blond wearing heels in tight jeans. She didn't stand a chance. Ah, youth.

At that time I had a small apartment on the beach a few miles and in another town north of here. She lived out of state. I spent many a late night driving home from her parents. I'd find myself hanging my face into the cold morning air, while driving like a maniac, in the wee hours of the morning, in order to make it to work on time. My first phone bill, after I met her, was six hundred dollars. In real money....think about it. She liked to talk. Then again, what woman doesn't.

Hey, I need to hit the shower. I truly hope you have a great day.

Later,

Stephen

28 comments:

  1. Have a good day sir, thanks for sharing your life. I found Matt again yesterday and we are hooked up again. Cedar Key sounds nice. Things should quite down around here next week or so for a while.

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    1. Rob, my good friend, thank you and it's my pleasure, and my way of blowing off steam...take care.

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  2. Stephen, my dear sweet one, i know that you aren't going to listen but i provide my advice free of charge and because i am a woman, like to talk. here goes: if you are up in the middle of the night, try a cup of sage tea. pull a few leaves off of the plant, put in your tea cup and pour boiling water over it. let it steep for 5 mins. it is the most soothing tea in the world. take your tea to the bathroom, fill the tub. if you are not a proper bath person, start filling the tub, get in and stay in sipping your tea until the bath fills. if you are itching and scratching to get out - do so. but try and stay in for at least 10 minutes sipping your tea. both of these things should help you go back to sleep.

    in addition (see, i told you i was a woman and we like to talk!), do the rehab. hate every single minute of it, curse and swear about it, come here and vent about it - but do it. it's not for you, you don't need it - but Sweet Wife and Little Bit do! so do it for them!

    $600 is a lot for a phone bill. remind me to tell you about the time i was in australia for 2 weeks thinking that the north american company calling card worked while i was calling jambaloney!!!

    all my love! your friend,
    kymber

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    1. kymber, dear lady, I've only a few moments so this shall be brief....I shall not waste good sage on tea...now, turkey, yes, tea and a bath...nope, not gonna happen...
      But bless you and I shall do the rehab for my families sake...I too have made calls from Australia and other areas of the far east back in the day when one had to stand in line for the darn pay phones...remember them. It sucked....thanks, my sweet lady. Tell Jamie hello and still working on the citrus. I keep my promises...

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  3. 7 years ago I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I knew what lung cancer meant it meant a death sentence and not a pretty one. It took the medical community about six weeks before they were finally able to tell me I had a treatable/operable cancer and not the dreaded smokers cancer that would surely kill me in a few months. Before that time I was putting my affairs in order and pondering how to commit suicide so I could end my life with dignity not lying in a bed with tubes stuck in my body and crapping in my pants. I didn't sleep well either.

    Not saying that is where you are. What I'm saying is the stress and dealing with your mortality and all the implications therein are keeping you awake. It will pass. Good luck and good health.

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    1. Thank you, my friend. Must have been tough for you and I'm glad you made the transition back to a normal life. I'm sure I am as you mentioned...just haven't faced the fact of my, well, illness. Most of my friends and family cannot believe I had a heart attack. I don't smoke. I haven't a huge pot belly. I'm a fairly strong man (I thought) and truly am careful of my eating habits. I'm the guy that skips lunch for pete's sake...but we take and deal with what life hands out. Thank you very much for the kind comment.

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  5. I hope your stress and insomnia fade with time and healing. I've never found vacations relaxing, either. My husband thinks it's because I'm such an introvert but I think it's because of the disorder where everything isn't where it belongs in my world. I collect tea cups. Old ones. My two most cherished aren't the prettiest I've bought at antique stores. No, I most cherish one from each of my grandmothers - particularly the grandmother I never met, she having died when my dad was in college. It wasn't until years into my silly collection that my aunt saw it and gave me one that belonged to my grandmother. She, too, collected pretty tea cups. I guess it's in my blood from both sides. I'm rambling for no reason - and I don't have an excuse, I slept well last night. Take care of yourself. My husband is 6 years older than I. I understand the worry your wife has. She seems strong and it is touching how appreciative you are of her.

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    1. Sweet One, I understand completely. My days of far travel are over. Once upon a time I had to travel, I covered every square inch of this earth. Now, I just want to stay close to home. I've been there and done that for real. Thank you for the kind comments concerning my wife...she is truly my better half. Wish I still had my mother's tea cups, alas, they are gone. Take care, and bless you.

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  6. Hope today is better for ya', I will have to check out Matt's new blog.

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    1. And to you, my friend. Come on by tomorrow and I'll jerk you a cup of coffee...got a gun to show you.

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  7. I hope today is much better than you anticipated, and that you can get the sleep you need. And please remember this: Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

    He meant it, and so do I. Be at peace, my friend.

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    1. My friend, sincerely, thank you. You have a way about you...God bless you and may you also be at peace.

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  8. When I went through the Rehab, as with most things, some of it was worth the time some was not. Ya roll the dice. Sleep, I had problems initially but got over it, just comes with the knock. My docs told me it would be a least a year till the effects of the event were gone. I would say that they were mostly accurate. The biggest beef to me, like you, I was not a candidate for this and now that is the one thing that colors all else. If my body betrayed me once when will it do so again? That's an every day thought. You move on, get better, live, but it's always that question. When? Not if. Writing this is hard as I've not really talked about this with anyone near me. All have kind word and thoughts, but I don't want to burden them or have them thinking I'm depressed, so I don't mention it. In some ways it's like mourning a loss, that picture of you that you have been carrying for most of your life, gone. You move on, but you're not the same. Rereading what I just wrote, I needed to write, just as I must hit the publish button to make it a reality. Dump it if you chose to, Good luck in your rehab and getting to know the new you. I found I am starting to like the new me. Bill

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    1. Bill, thank you. Your words mean much to me...I guess, if I were to tell the truth, I'm in denial. Like you, I say nothing about my feelings to my family. Then again, I'm closed mouthed by nature. I'm sure in a few weeks or months I work myself into a state of a new normal. I'll do the rehab...I must leave in a few minutes and have 'em poke and prick me for their satisfaction, not mine. Again, thank you very much...

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  9. Man, I'm right there with ya on the sleeping. I was up and down for most of the night with the allergies and sneezing. Amazingly, and thankfully, my wife remembers none of it.

    Is your model 19 a 5" or 6"? the one I just got is a 19-7 4". I'm fairly anxious to get it to the range along with the GP100 and compare them together.

    If you're still having wifi issues later this evening, turn these items all off at one time, then turn them on in this order allowing one item to come up before turning on the next: the modem, the router (wifi unit) and then the computer(s). If that doesn't help, then it's probably not your equipment.

    Hey, Thanks for shout-out.

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    1. Matt, my Smith is a 19-3 four inch, like yours. It was an FBI issue weapon I purchased from a retired agent a few years back. Has a Hogue grip (check spelling) and I love its feel. Shoots well, and accurate. I'm about to leave for the doctors office, and so am at home now and the modem(s) seem to work fine now. I'm fairly certain it's Comcast...you are more than welcome on the shout out...my pleasure.

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    2. I know how you feel about not being able to sleep. All I can advise is to try to find something that relaxes you and lets you slip into at least a doze.

      Good luck with the rehab. I went through it for my back a few years ago, and even though all I could think about was getting it over with, I'm glad I did it. Our families deserve our sacrifice to be healthy for them.

      Hope your day improved.

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    3. Thanks, DaddyBear. I'm not looking forward to rehab, but I'll do 'er. Just back from the doc's office. Now they want me to take a nuke stress test. I had one six or seven years ago and didn't enjoy it. Seems I'm booked thru at least June with one procedure or another. Sleep is indeed elusive. I've tried almost everything of late to help..so far it's a no go. Thanks, and I hope you have a restful evening.

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  10. I hear you on the sleep issues, have plenty of them myself. Sometimes I recollect of year gone past, sometimes of the future or pressing issues. DH noticed a deep crease in the configuration of a V on my cheekbone, but didn't mention it at breakfast. This afternoon at lunch, he mentioned how hard I must of slept, since he could still see it. Sometimes, when I can't sleep and eventually drift off, I have some of my best rest, I think.

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    1. Rose, it's a shame isn't it how as we age we lose the ability to find a peaceful nights sleep....much like you when I finally do sleep it's as if with the dead...Thank you very much for the sweet and kind comment.

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  11. Stephen, My Dad went through the same thing. As you do your Rehab. Just do as they ask. And also, Your wife may be real busy taking care of you, and she will not be really taking care of herself, as she does so. My Mom did this, and now she has some issue's that need to be taken care of by a doctor.

    So, while your getting better, make her take the time to also take care of herself. As for the sleep. I wish I had a answer my friend. Maybe see about renting a metal detector, and do some beach combing. You will get a bit of a work out. And, you might just find some things to put some dollar's in your pocket.

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    1. I do keep a sharp eye on her, Flier...she's my life. Thanks very much for the nice advice...

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  12. Don't know what medications your doc has prescribed for you, but hubby had trouble with his blood pressure med making him sleepy after he took it and then he had insomnia when it started wearing off. Maybe try gradually adjusting the time of day that you take the blood pressure medication if your doc has you taking one. If you arrange the drug induced sleepy time with the time of day that you are supposed to be asleep it might help.

    Good luck with the rehab.

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    1. Good points, Mrs. S., and I'll look into it. I take most of my meds in the morning and only two at night before bed, neither of which is blood pressure related. Thank you very much.

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    2. The troublesome blood pressure medication for hubby was Metoprolol. It's a beta blocker. If I remember correctly, it blocks the adrenal receptors in the heart, lowering blood pressure and regulating the heart rate. The trouble is it can really mess with normal daily rhythms - exciting activity during the day - rest at night. If everything is kept on an even keel, things just feel really weird. Exercise really helps.

      At first the dosage was quite high, taken twice a day. Then the doctor halved the amount, so that hubby could actually stay awake all the way through watching a movie. Later the doctor switched the medication to the 24 hour extended release formula, which is expensive unless there is good prescription coverage.

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    3. Mrs. S., I believe you'd solved my problem...I take Metoprolol twice daily. I'll speak to my doctor tomorrow morning. Thank you very much...

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    4. Hope your doctor can get the meds adjusted so that you can sleep when you need to sleep.

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