Thursday, March 27, 2014

On the Road

She's on the cell to her mother when I hear, "I'll leave Thursday, early."  I flip the newspaper aside and throw a long look in her direction - one of those, 'Huh, what 'da heck did you just say,' kinda looks, like that...

Her mother, again. Bless her heart she's headed back to Atlanta, land of the democritter, for another examination. My lovely wife will drive. She leaves this morning. I packed her SUV. She has water, blankets, a nice first aid kit, tools, flashlight, maps (Remember maps?) and her Get Home Bag, and of course, personal protection. Hey, it's a long drive to Crittersville.

Here's the thing - she asked for a second handgun, and not just any handgun. She wanted a revolver. And, she wanted me to spread a lap quilt on our coffee table and explain, again, how to load the magazines and operate her little Ruger LCP. So I jog to the firearms safe and remove a little Smith & Wesson Ladysmith .38 (Model 60), a nice little handgun. I slipped five Plus P's inside.

Twenty minutes later she's comfortable with the Elsiepea. She's slapping those magazines home like a pro. Me, all proud of her and stuff....

Asked her, "When do you cease fire?"

"The moment the booger ceases to moan."

Good girl.

I explained the need of practical footwear, socks, and a heavy jacket or coat. I know....I do tend to get carried away with the prep stuff, but remember, she's my wife and I'm kinda attached and very fond of her, and let's not forget her elderly mother. The LadySmith is for Mom - the 'Ole Girl is good with a revolver.

Each of my girls will hump full boxes of ammunition. When asked why I threw in the spare ammo I just turned to her and said, "Hey, Zombies."

Be careful out there....



  1. dear sweet one - it seems that you got your girls ready for anything. but make sure to tell them to "double tap". you always gotta "double tap". it's obvious how much you care for Sweet Wife...and that is sweet! do you think you could find a way to smuggle that LadySmith in some oranges or something and send me one? I LOOOOOOOOVE it!

    your friend,

    1. Check the mail, daily. Is it there yet....

  2. I needed this. The first belly laugh today. Just left a blog that had me weeping .
    Yours is perfect Stephen.. All the ingredients blended with that inborn story-telling faculty.
    The finishing flourish cracked me up.

    1. Ah,'re welcome my dear friend. My pleasure. Thank you.

  3. Your always great for a giggle or two! Good Man taken care of business. Taught her well!

  4. Too funny! Good job taking care of your ladies :)

  5. Stephen,

    You did good my friend!!! Making sure Sweet Wife and her Mom are well taken care of. That's what I call true love.
    My husband does the same thing.

    So while SW is away, will you be cooking all the things she doesn't like to eat? If so, will you be sharing recipes?

    Give SW a hug for me when she returns.

    1. Thanks, Sandy, my sweet friend....any good husband would do the same.