Autumn

Autumn

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Pitter Patter

One cold windy Saturday afternoon the two of us were settled snugly with books and soft music, quiet, other than an occasional snap and crackle from the fireplace. I was deep in a biography of Hetty Green and Sweet Wife her Sunday school lesson.

I was content. Well as content as could be with the constant pitter patter of friggin squirrels at a dead gallop back and forth over our roof in their ceaseless fight over mates - breeding season, don't 'ya know....

Bounce, bang, flutter. Smack, another acorn. I'd listen as the nut gathered speed and rolled into the gutter with a tinny ping. Back to book. Repeat.

Me, "I've about had it with the darn squirrels."

"Oh, I think they're beautiful. It's just their play time." Typical, from her.

I tried, I really did try to ignore them. Pretended the squirrel antics nothing more than a minor distraction from my book. Ever so often she'd glance in my direction, with the look - as if to say, mind yourself, boy.

Bam, scamper, squeak, flutter....over and over and over. I threw the book aside and rose and walked straight into our office and grabbed my little pump Rossi. Back in the family room I went for the French doors that give to the deck...."Stephen." Like that. Just, "Stephen." All stern like, voice of authority. A rebuke.

"What?"

"No."

"No, what?"

My Sweet Wife said, "You - Will - Not - Harm - Those - Wonderful - Creatures - of - God."

I stepped outside and shot five within thirty seconds.....hand on Bible. The tree was loaded with furry fat little pieces of tasty meat. Five shots, five down. Flipped out my pocket knife and field dressed those tasty little suckers quicker than you can wink.

She didn't speak to me for an hour.

I had a nice quiet evening, with Hetty.

Stephen





22 comments:

  1. Heh, yep there comes a time when enough is enough... And squirrel stew ain't bad! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Served in a deep rue over rice....indeed. Thanks, my friend.

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  2. Sometimes a man has to do what's right. Many times I piss off da wife so I can have peace for awhile....evil grin and laugh. Enjoy the fresh meat.

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  3. Like NFO said: sometimes enough is enough.

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    1. Must have been thirty-five of those little nut crackers in the one tree, directly over our house. Easy pickings. Thanks, my good friend.

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  4. Replies
    1. Yes, they are very good indeed. Want a few? Thanks, my friend.

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  5. Gumbo comes to mind. A good dark roux, a big onion, a half pound of smoked sausage and the squirrels. Simmer until the squirrel is tender and eat over rice.

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    Replies
    1. We think much alike, Jess. Gumbo it is....

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  6. Now that's the way to handle that. Good job.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Bubba. Wish a few rabbits hung around here....

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  7. Replies
    1. Grab you rifle, David...it's fun. Thanks, my friend.

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  8. Yumeh!...squirrel gravy over rice and hot biscuits!

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    Replies
    1. Gotta love country girls....yes indeed, my sweet friend. Thanks.

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  9. Stephen,

    And you didn't dress those squirrels and put them in the freezer??

    I would have said to SW, I'm just stocking the freezer dear :-)

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    1. Actually you should soak them in a bowl of salted water (which I did indeed) overnight. Then either freeze the meat or prepare as you wish....thanks, Sandy.

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  10. Ya got me drooling. I have not had squirrel in years. But I can remember how it tasted. We fried up several, made some gravy, and baked some sourdough biscuits. It's good eating. And it has been longer since I had squirrel gumbo.

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    1. If not for squirrel and rabbit meals during my youth I would not be the man I am today....Thanks, my friend.

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  11. Replies
    1. She was indeed. Mostly forgotten today, which is a shame. Her methods of acquiring wealth we unique and it's a shame many of today's youth don't follow her example. Thrift above all else. Thanks, my friend.

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