I've been backed into a corner. I fight when I'm forced into corners, and now I have chosen a side.
I only write this as a note for Little Bit. Hopefully she will read this account of her Papa's life and understand.
I have secured an apartment. Made moves. Her school has been informed of changes, and after Little Bit's mother arrives she will sign papers and remove my son's wife from the 'drop-off' and after school 'pick-up' list. That is all the dirty laundry I wish to reveal on the subject. It isn't fair to you good people.
It's a damn shame but such is life. Thank you all for your very kind prayers. God bless you.
Stephen
It is wonderful that she has such loving grandparents that can be her rock in life. My thoughts are with her. I can't fathom a person who could see a child suffer. I hope all of your lives see some smooth sailing soon.
ReplyDeleteNeither do I, dear Mermaid, neither do I. Thank you...
DeleteI'll just say what I always say...you are a good man. Big hugs and always,always prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much my sweet friend...
DeleteHang in there! You're in my thoughts and prayers. Many of us read your words and wish we lived closer and could be a bigger help.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Izzy...it means the world to me. All I ask is for your continued prayers. This is killing me, but I will survive.
DeleteSuch things tear our hearts, keep on with what you can do. It sounds as though whatever problems her mother has, she is making progress. Reading between the lines I fear things seem to be going the other directions with step parents.
ReplyDeleteNot much beyond prayers and encouragement that we(HH and Myself) can offer from up here in the show-me-state.
Yes, her birth mother has made great strides in the last few years. She no longer drinks, drug free, quite smoking, and is now enrolled in dental school. She will transfer her credits from school to here. We're awful proud of her.
DeleteAs to the other problem, it's the step-mother. She made the big mistake of telling Birth mother that she was no longer Little Bit's mother. Oops....then she told my son, after the State came into the picture, it was our fault for keeping the lines of communication open with BM. He then shutdown or visits. Oops, again. Thank you my friend. Just reading this sorry mess is a help on your end.
Excuse me. Should read, 'our visits.'
DeleteSome folks, ( step-mother ) just doesn't know when to let well enough alone. Sorry for all the hassle you've have had to go through this week. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteIt's been said here before by others, but you two are awesome grandparents.
DeleteYes, on the step-mother...sadly, they just keep digging themselves deeper into a hole.
DeleteAwesome, not sure. I just want what's best for Little Bit. This whole mess has my insides tied into knots. I just want peace.
And, thank you, Matt. You're a good friend.
Deletei prayed my heart out. i prayed for my dear sweet one, his Sweet Wife and his Heart. i will keep praying for all. you know how much all of this means to me. all of my love, always.
ReplyDeleteyour friend,
kymber
Thank you, Sweet One. I add more but I'm pressed for time...
DeleteWe do what we have to do. Take care of the little bit.
ReplyDeleteMy grandaughter is living with us and her mother 1/2 the time. The other half she's with her father in RI. Recently we discovered she'll be in school in RI. We'll get her during all the summer and holidays and every school vacation. Still, not what I'd have chosen.
It was a very ugly divorce a few years back. Really had to keep my anger in check.
The kid's doing pretty good though. Lot's of conditons on the father. My daughter is doing well, but it's been a long trip.
When familys split, it's really rough. My prayers are with you. Hope things get better in the future.
I'm sorry, my friend. Family issues can so often spiral out of control. Like mine.
DeleteThank you for your kind comment.
Don't know the particulars but I am sure you are doing what is best.
ReplyDeleteOne reason I refused to re-marry or even co-habitate for more than 10 years after my divorce was the fact that I had custody of my son. Personally I just feel it is wrong to introduce a step parent until the child is grown enough to be their own person. Not being judgmental to anyone but a child's life should be free from adult emotional tug of wars which happen even with the best of step parents. Even without ill will it is an issue that always comes up and no single parent or step parent can control the situation enough to ensure it doesn't happen.
I guess that is also true with grandparents actually.
I wish my son had been able to take advice from you. Then again, he seldom ever takes advice from me. Well said and thank you my friend.
DeleteI went through this when I was growing up.
ReplyDeleteMy parents were not fighting , but the parents of my step-siblings were. You find out some surprising things about people in family court.
Sad, but true. Thank you very much, Russell.
DeleteGood Luck to you and Little Bit Stephen. I hope all goes well for both of you :)
ReplyDeleteSo do I, my friend, so do I. Thank you.
DeleteI am so glad that Lil Bit is not alone in this. Thank you for being there for her.
ReplyDeleteHugs and peace-filled thoughts to her and you and your sweet wife.
Bless you, Dear Kellie. Thanks.
DeleteWe your blog family is always here for you. You know that.
ReplyDeleteI understand that you need to do whatever it takes to make LB happy and keep your stress down. We all know you will keep us posted.
Thank you, Rob. You're a kind friend.
DeleteStephen,
ReplyDeleteAs I have said before, the love of a grandparent for grandchild is unimaginable...you think you love your children, but then the grandkids enter and your love intensifies, grows beyond comprehension. You do what you have to do. Nothing else matters but her security, her stability, her needs. Grandparents, good grandparents, will walk through hell and back for their little ones at a time in their (the grandparents) lives that the walking has become a bit more difficult or challenging. Wisdom comes with age and that wisdom protects the young ones in our lives. The Good Lord knew what he was doing in designing generations! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and sweet wife, Little Bit, and her mother.
Thank you, Sweet Lady. Like you said, grandparents are special because of grandchildren. I'd die for this little girl.
DeletePraying for wisdom & peace to prevail.
ReplyDeleteSouthern Gal
Thank you so very much, Southern Gal...
DeleteDear Stephen and Sweet Wife,
ReplyDeleteMy heart aches knowing what you both are going through right now.
Give it time, nerves are raw, things will get better. Seems like her mother is on the right track and that is good for all, especially for Little Bit.
May you be blessed with patience and understanding and know that we are praying for you and your family.
Thank you, Phyllis...I haven't seen my Little Bit in days and have no idea of her state of mind nor her condition. It's killing me...
DeleteStephen, after all you do for that little girl, don't you dare apologize for slow posting. We'll be here.
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend...old habits die hard...God bless you.
DeleteStephen, we are going through a similar situation. Y'all have our sincere prayers in this. The one's that get hurt the most are the little ones.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, it's the little ones that pay for their parents bad decisions. Thank you and I truly hope your situation works out for the best. Thank you, my friend.
DeleteSometimes the right thing to do is the hardest decision to make. I respect you deeply for doing the difficult thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks, 45er, this has been a tough decision to make, but, I had little in the way of options.
DeleteYou and Sweet Wife are very loving grandparents! It is nice Little Bit can see her mom, and good for her mom as well. She deserves that. .she sounds like her life has completely changed. Little Bit knows your love is the greatest love. Sometimes other adults don't do or say the things they should. I think that is why grandparents are here--to pick up the pieces. You all are In My Prayers. .
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sis. I love you.
DeleteI'm so sorry that you are having to deal with people that are self absorbed. If anyone involved in the situation thought about the your angel first there would be no quarreling. It's just not fair for the child. I wish the biological mom all the best wishes in the world, and I pray for y'all's peace, and for your son and his wife's wisdom.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sweetheart....really, thank you.
DeleteGod Bless all involved - the needs of vulnerable children are paramount and supersede all and everything.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Dear Dani, amen.
DeleteStephen,
ReplyDelete((((((Stephen and Sweet Wife))))))) hugs and prayers to the both of you for having Little Bit's interest at heart. You both are the solid rock and structure Little Bit needs. Little Bit may not understand all that is going on but she sure knows you and your Sweet Wife are there for her. It's a shame Children see and or hear so much in divorce situations. I'm happy to hear Little Bit's mom has turned her life around and has the opportunity to be back in her daughters life.
For the reason you stated above, 'she's turned her life around,' and for the fact Little Bit needs, I mean needs, her mother is the reason I've chosen her side. I must always think of this beautiful child's needs above all else...thank you, Sandy.
Deletegiven all the crap - VERY happy you found a path that can work for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you my good friend. When I'm able to catch my breath I have a little gift for you...I'll send it soon. Give kymber a hug for me.
DeleteGod bless you and your Sweet Wife. I am going thru simular sh#t here. Son is having a time trying to keep "step dad" from forcing the issue of being called "Daddy". GD, 5, is now having to ask, My real Dad?. Geez. I can hardly contain myself. Good thing I don't own a weapon other than my smart as#ed mouth, and I don't get to use it often enough or direct it toward the deserving people. Prayers for you and yours as always.
ReplyDeleteT
The very same thing began with my son's wife two days after their marriage. That, 'call me Mommy,' stuff. They forced her. I'm sorry for your troubles and understand. Isn't it awful we must deal with these silly facets of life....thank you, my good friend.
DeleteI know you are doing the right thing. Stay strong and fight for her.
ReplyDeleteThank you, my friend. I shall do my best.
DeleteYou are always in our prayers. You will always fight the good fight and will come out a winner one way or another.
ReplyDeleteJohn, my friend, your prayers are most welcome. I awoke at 0200 this morning, and prayed. I'm not ashamed to admit, I hurt.
DeleteI didn't read all the comments, but your post sounds to me like you are doing what you think is best. Keep it up and be strong, I will certainly hope for the best for you both.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Max, and God bless.
ReplyDeletePrayers sent up for all concerned, as was typed above do what you need to do, we'll be here.
ReplyDeleteGrog
III
Grog, thank you very much...God bless.
DeleteYou are awesome grandparents. Prayers & hugs to you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, my kind friend.
DeleteThinking and praying for you all. Some life decisions are harder than others but when you finally decide and you know you did it for all the right reasons (Lil Bit's well being), then everything will work itself out. Good luck and let me know if there is anything I can do.
ReplyDelete'Some decisions are harder than others..' Very true and this has been a hard decision to make for both of us. Thanks, my sweet friend.
DeletePlease forgive this late submission, due to all the traveling I've been doing.
ReplyDeleteI pray you've chosen wisely, and that it works out to Little Bit's benefit. We'll keep you in prayer.
Nothing to forgive, my friend. I pray I have chose wisely too. I must do what I can for Little Bit. I'm so depressed at the moment I can hardly function.
DeleteStephen, we do what we have to for our children. I'm glad that her mother is willing and able to be a good part of her life. You've been there for her, and I pray that you will be able to be there for her in the future. And don't worry, she'll know you love her.
ReplyDeleteSo true, DaddyBear. Her mother is chomping at the bit to get here. I sure Little Bit know we love her, more than she'll ever know. It just hurts so bad not holding and loving her.
DeleteI am truly sorry for all you (and your sweet wife) are going through Stephen, but I can see the Lord's hand at work here, He is using you to put that precious child back in contact with her mama. Right now it is hard and painful, but it will all work out in the end. You will continue to be in my prayers and I look forward to hearing the reunion stories!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you,
Shar
Thank you, Shar. Sweet Wife reminds me several times a day it's all in the Good Lord's hands now.
DeleteThe influence of kind and supportive grandparents and extended family is beyond measure. Keep up the good work. You have our prayers that all goes well in the end.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mrs. S., the prayers are certainly welcome.
DeleteLB is so lucky to have you and your sweet wife. I hope that these things are settled quickly, you all deserve some peace. My prayers are with you all.
ReplyDelete